I Was Almost A Walk-Away Wife (next thread)

[Dom R]

He asked me where I was going and told me that he had come in there to be with me. ...
So, I went and sat there for about two minutes and it was all I could stand. I got up and went to the computer. I just could not stand to sit there and watch some boring TV program.
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[rearranging a little...]
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I feel so confused about what to do with the AD meds. I'm going to give it one more month and if I'm not feeling better....well I don't know what to do.
...

What is wrong with me and why don't I want to be alone with him and spend time watching TV with him no matter what program is on? I know it had to have hurt him b/c this past two or three days he seems like he has been trying to be nicer to me and I just don't respond.

Sandi... it sounds to me like you are in full-on WAW mode.

you're "depressed", because you hate your marriage, and you know it wont get any better if you do nothing about it... yet you are choosing to do nothing about it... so you know it wont get any better.
Hence, depression.




Taking all the AD meds in the world, wont make you feel better about this.

That is one reason I can't seem to "make" myself do special things for my H like you were talking about. I use to Lou.......and I loved doing it then and I want to feel like doing it again.

I think that you're past the point of "I need to feel it before I do it".
That feeling is not going to spontaneously come back.
If you stick to "i need to feel it first", you are choosing to sink your marriage.

I just want to feel like my old self again and have my feeling return for my H.

Sandi.. you say that.. but you're not DOING anything about it.

You have the power to change your relationship with your husband.. but you are choosing to do nothing about it.
No, scratch that.. you are choosing to make it worse, ever so slightly, day by day. (by doing things like walking away from your husband, when he attempts to make things better)

If you keep down this path, you will eventually make yourself so miserable that you either contact OM, or find a new one, or move out.


Please stop this right now, Sandi, and decide you are going to do something positive about your marriage again.
You KNOW that your husband wants to help your marriage. He may not be very good at it, but his actions show that he at least wants to help.
That is the most important asset you could hope for.