Still Tryin's new thread 2

[S.T. _I Made It!]

Thanks Nikki! and your welcome! ya, definitely take some new pictures I'd love to see them.

ya, I tried to ignore it. still haven't remembered to ask H what in the world he told s9.

The fishies are still tiny. about a fingernail size if that (if you trimmed your fingernails, and what you cut off, that size) of the first batch. I've got 3 in a holder thing inside the tank. The mom was really beating up the dad on this next bunch. I actually put him with the babies, but he wasn't very happy with that either, so put him back in. He's okay, but kinda nipped up. The mom has about 6 babies left from the last batch. Soooo, lotsa fun. I even have two plants that bloomed a flower. more like a 1 petal lily the size of my fingernail, but still.

gonna finally do something today, going to a womens thing at church my friend invited me to and paid for, and I'll be taking the kids to a play place. Didn't want to ask H again to watch kids since he did twice this week. although he IS their dad, but I still feel scared to ask and his reaction getting annoyed. So I thought I'd just plan for them to get bbysat and pay 25 bucks, and I told him he could do whatever he wanted that night, have some nice rest or go out. So hopefully he's happy about that.

I was kinda upset last night. He told me about his work xmas party a week ago and I said, why do you always tell me so late. Well, I got my mom to come (which she was planning to do sometime) and watch the kids (it is a 3 hr drive for her). Then he tells me last night after I mention the party that we're not going. i said huh? he said no one else is and he never told me we were. I said we go every year when I'm not in Wichita. It's like the one time I get to dress up a year. He thinks it's lame, but I kinda enjoy it. Sooooo, it made me feel bad. he said we would still do something. then later he mentions that we could shop for the kids xmas during that time. ugh.

well, I really hope that we do something fun and I can dress up. This is where we have more problems I think. We hardly go anywhere, so when we do, it's usually something he wants to do not me. I'd actually like to go watch people I know sing Handel's Messiah... but there is NO way H would do that. Not that I think that's a blast to do, but I like attending those kinds of things at least once every couple years. I used to be in them in college and performed all the time, but he hates musicals, and all that stuff. although he does like grease.

okay, now I'm rambling. I need to quit venting on here so much, and I need to point out positive things. that might take me a while to think about. haha.

[NikB]

ST

Awww cute about the fish!! Glad some have made it.

As to the party - I'm sorry for the change in plans. My H does that stuff too - expects me to mind read and then get confused, annoyed, whatever when I "guess" wrong.

As to the night out - I think this could be a great opportunity for you! Take the reins and plan something wonderful for the two of you instead of waiting/hoping he will.

A little wink and a joking "warning" that he needs to dress nice, and then plan something where it makes sense! I don't know what that might be... definitely something that he'd like too, but something where you get to dress up and wow him, have fun with it and make yourself totally glamorous.

Trying to think of ideas as to WHAT that could be.. if you have the $$ for it you could do a nice dinner out, maybe a Christmas thing of some sort that's not necessarily a musical, see if there are any charity or holiday events coming up that sound like fun?

Or a less expensive option... can your Mom take the kids somewhere else and you can do the whole dress up/glam thing and cook him a nice gourmet dinner at home? Would he (and you) enjoy that kind of thing??

Or one last idea that might work if you can keep your expectations low - go along with "whatever" he has planned. But dress up as you wanted to. If you end up Christmas shopping in a beautiful dress, heels, all that - well, so be it! My GUESS though is that if your H saw you all decked out like that he'd step up and do something else instead.

Just a few thoughts.. you know your H better of course, but what do you think?

[S.T. _I Made It!]

thanks Nikki for all the suggestions!

H is kinda in a blah mood today. He drank last night...went out (his friend didn't show though- this friend normally doesn't) so he woke up w/ a headache. He also wanted lunch and thought there was meat and cheese and I didn't buy any (because whenever I do, no one eats it and I have to throw it away) so I kept making suggestions and he says no. So we're not starting out to good so far. I think at this moment I like your just wear what I want and let him make all the plans. we'll see what happens. And my goal is to keep expectations at ZERO!!! it's so hard!

Nikki, you would have loved the thing I went to last night. It was almost too girly for me.. I think because I've never been involved in women stuff before, like scrapbooking and get togethers. I have never seen so many women in one place ever in my life! It was like 1000 women. My friend who I met thru the monavie invited me to her church womens night thing, as a xmas gift. It was really neat. First there was a ton of food on tables scattered everywhere.. mainly appetizers and deserts and then we all sat down and chatted. Then we all went to the sanctuary/worship room and they had a little Oprah show for us. There was a girl who would sing xmas songs with a band in between, and then one of the church leader ladies (who was extremely funny) hosted and had several different things to show what women would be interested in. like jewelry-handmade by a lady from the church, a professional photographer showed us pointers and gift ideas (I'll have to tell you a couple or post the pics that I took of them) and a lady cookin up some recipes, and then some neat "got to have it" items. I think that was the theme "Got to have it". It was funny, about 10 guys in partial santa attire would bring out our free gifts throughout the "show". Like, the handmade jewelry lady made 1K rings for everyone... a cooler bag to hold your food for xmas, then lastly a big ice tin (not sure what it's called but you can fill it up with ice and put drinks in it) oh and a book with everything we learned along with recipes.

I'm not sure if it's just this church that started this, or what, but it's a really good idea.

Well, I gotta go for our puppy training class. I'll let you'all know how tonight turns out. it can't be too crazy cuz I have to be at church by 9am and practice.

take care everyone and have a great week!

[S.T. _I Made It!]

welp, didn't have too exciting of an evening... went out for dinner, then looked around at target while waiting for our movie. The movie No Country for Old Men.... it could have been such a good movie. both my H and I were so disappointed by the end. It was really good until then, slow yet suspenseful but I think the last 10 minutes just leaves you thinking, what? you've got to be kidding. that's the end? it was funny, my H was just waiting for the credits to end thinking there's got to be some clip or something to tell us.

it was a nice time. wish we could do it more often, I still don't feel quite comfortable, I'm not sure how to explain it. okay, I think it's I'm hoping he'll grab my hand, or tell me how pretty I look, or do something intimate, but it never happens.

we got out of the car at target and we get closer to each other and he holds his hand out behind him... me thinking he's gonna grab my hand and I put my hand out, and he hits the button on his car and it beeps to lock. ya. that was stupid. we both laughed at it, so then he held my hand for about 1 minute.

I know I should just initiate things myself, but gosh, do I have to every time!

I did bring H food two times today... my mom was in town and we went to church and went to Handles Messiah and xmas light seeing with the kids so we didn't see H much... but he was thankful for the food and told me he might pay me back later. hmmmmm wonder how. ?

again, need to work on working out and learning the skills I had during my DBing time.