The three of us were watching a Disney Mickey Mouse movie about Christmas, how Pluto gets lost and is so depressed without Mickey and vice-versa. D was on my lap. When it was over it was time to go to bed.
S got up and was in a foul mood--nasty to his sister, bossy and mean. She started to cry and I had to get her to calm down, then heard him crying in his bed.
He said he doesn't want winter to come. There are just too many memories. He wants us all to be together. He doesn't want to go to school (D said she doesn't want to, either, in a sep convo). He is just so sad, and there is nothing I can do...
I said that things are different but they will be ok. It is not your fault or your sister's fault. We wish it was different, but this is the way it is, and its going to be ok.
He calmed down and fell right asleep--I can see how he shoved it back down, could almost feel it happening, as he welcomed the same sleep that I prayed for today--just to make the pain stop. As he was falling asleep, I said that I was glad that he talked with me and got it out a little bit. I also told him the days when he goes between the two homes would be the hardest as he made the adjustment, and that I felt a little bit like that, too, this weekend.
I will call the kids' C tonight and leave a message. I feel like I've been out of the loop, with H taking S the past three weeks. I want her to know.
My poor babies. I am so sorry.....I need to do all that I can to help them through this, be there for them. The guilt over this, what it will put them through, tears me apart.
