WAW does not want to try

[wawpioneer]

Thank you for that incredible insight I_W. I appreciate the guidance and kind words. I will make it a point to listen and try to discover those things that she did not like in me that drove her to this and work on those specifically.

I do have an update on some contact with waw. She sent me a text wanting to set up a time to get her scanner and some older pictures because she got her dad an electronic picture frame for X-mas and she needed to put some pictures on them. She did ask if it was OK to put our vacation pictures together on it. I said that was up to her and she then said that her dad would like it no matter what the outcome. I helped her get some of those things in the house and she was in a relatively good mood. She did look a little hesitant when she first walked in but I had attempted to be in a good mood while she was here and that seemed to put her a little more at ease. We did not really talk about the R at all but I did ask if she had filed papers yet and she said that they are on hold and she was not sure if they would be legal separation papers or D papers. She said that she was thinking on that. We are also postponing our meeting together until Tuesday evening to talk a little about the R. She said that she did not understand the assignment from the councelor (that tells me that she was not serious about it then). I described the assignment to her as I understood it. She said that she would think about it and maybe write some things down. Interesting.

The assignment from the C was to attempt to discover if we had any emotional energy to give our M a chance and if we did what type of effort were we willing to put forth. He also wants us to come up with small goals to reach by a certain date. I have no idea what small goals to come up with. I told her that I did not know if I was comfortable with a date and she said that "well, that is just so it doesn't just drag on". I thought that sounded like she would not expect anything to change. That was not real encouraging to me.

She said that she was going to MI for X-mas this year. I offered to go with her to help drive but she said that she really just wanted to get away a little and that she needed to do some things "on her own". It will be pretty hard to go through X-mas without her this year. Before she left we stood in one of the rooms and she said that there is so much "stuff" around. I think she was making a mention to the fact that she used to buy things to try to make her happy instead of attempting to find happiness in herself and our M. She just looked at one of the bookcases in a daze for nearly 30 seconds. I could tell she was thinking about something and about things but I dared not asked what was on her mind. Surely she would talk about it if she wanted too. She also reached out and gave me a hug before she left. I am sure it meant more to me than to her.

Thanks for all the advice and please keep it coming. We are meeting on Tuesday to talk about whether we are going to make an attempt at our M. Any thoughts?