Well Supermom lugged 2 kids to a Christmas part today and is exhausted!! Especially since we got a foot of snow dumped on us last night and I had the pleasure of shovelling this morning to get my car out. FUN!! MIL came to help a bit and when I got home from the pary my neighbour had finished my walkway and the sidewalks around my house. God Bless him!! A couple of my friends are cursing H saying "Why the *&^% isn't he over there shovelling for you?? He's supposed to be taking care of stuff like that!!!".
I'm finding myself really concentrating again on H's thoughts, wondering constantly what's going on his head. I know all the usual stuff...'focus on myself', 'detach', 'you'll never figure out what he's thinking 'cause he barely knows'. Blah blah blah...I can't stop thinking about it. I think since he dropped the extreme anger I'm starting to perhaps see glimmers of hope again. Now is where I absolutely have to ensure that I step back and give him space. If he is indeed starting to see some light I DO NOT want to hinder that progress at all!
His Mom told me that he's very depressed. At her place (where he basically is when he's not here), he is really down and sleeps most of the time, day or night. He barely eats and they can't even get him to crack a smile which is not like him. I'm very worried about him. I want to reach out to him, but I know I absolutely can't. I really want him to know that I'm here for him if he needs me...I want him to see me as his best friend like he used to and lean on me. But I know he doesn't even realize he needs someone to lean on right now and that person is least likely to be me anyway. Sigh...what happened to my man? J~
Very wisely stated Jenny. You are right that you can't reach out to him now while he is depressed. Your desciption of him sounds like my H this summer. My trying to "help" him only made things worse. He is finally back to smiling so give your H time. I know, I hate saying that as much as I hate hearing that.
Take it easy with the shoveling. You did have a baby recently! Did you have C-section? If so, please be careful. And a big to your H for not doing it himself.
to your H for not doing it himself.
