OK, as noted above I asked W to go hiking this weekend. She declined, and in response I wrote this:
Quote:
just want you to know one thing: i'm cool with you, i've moved past the resentment and hard feelings that were so natural at the beginning. so if i come up with things to do that i think you'd enjoy i may invite you along once in awhile...but i also understand any need you have for more time and space and respect that too. right now i just want to be your friend...
today she responded with this:
Quote:
sorry i didn't reply to this earlier. anyway, yeah, i do need space and distance. i'm still trying to transition, and it's not that i am looking for ways to avoid you. i am adjusting to life on my own and for the most part doing pretty good, but i know hanging out like old times would mess with my emotional state. it's truly good to hear that you've been making so much progress though. have a good time this week with the doggies [i'm dog watching for my parents]
I'm happy to hear this, because finally I know exactly what she wants: space. Sure, I thought that was the case before, but now she told me, so I can more confidently give it to her.
I also like that she is apparently noticing signs of progress.
Any thoughts on if I should even respond to this, and if so how?
I was thinking of just a simple thanks and saying that I will respect her need for space. I could also add something about how I too am happy with my progress. But I have no idea if even this is too much considering what she just said, so looking for thoughts...
Regardless, whether I respond or not, aftwards I now know she wants space, so I will stop the pursuit (or even things that might look like pursuit). Basically dark time.
Last edited by mako; 12/02/0710:37 PM.
Me: 43 W: 41 Together 2009, Married 2011 Sons 10 and 6, Daughter 5 Bomb 2/21/21. W moved out 10/2021