Input, WH and I own business together

[micoms]

It was just a neighborhood pub. Mostly the crowd were young couples, who mostly knew each other, there was a group of women who came in. My S's friend said they were checking me out and he knew them if I wanted to be introduced. Told him not really interested, still want to work it out with W.

Yes S25 played soccer, football coach begged him to play, told him when soccer practice starts he can leave fb practice. As a senior he was 6'2", 235lbs and was the fastest kid on the soccer team. He could have been an awesome linebacker. He had size, speed and a mean streak. He never gave a cheap shot on the soccer field, but if someone gave him one the next 50/50 ball he would just run over them, tell them every time you give me a cheap shot I'll do this.

Don't worry about the gifts, would you give a friend of yours a present? Besides if OW new of those gifts would it create drama in their R? He might see OW isn't the r he thought it was, might think how it used to be with you.

I know thats all I want from W is a chance. When she left I did all the wrong things, begged, pleaded, cried. When seeing MC I thought W had issues to work out, now I see we both did.

Mike

[grid, lost]

mike,
issues to work out,?? What issues??? lol
You are so correct we all have issues to work on. Now if we could just verbalize these issues and identify them. Progress could really be made. We all do everything wrong, just a normal reaction to such a shock!

Your son sounds like a hunk!!!!! Lucky women! lol where I grew up we always called those fun local pubs, "local watering holes". they are such fun. very cold here today and we have had a sugar snow dusting. P;an to put lawn decorations up tomorrow and weather is suppose to be worse. rats.
have to run. later

[micoms]

The issues that led her to leave, she said in C'ing that she didn't know what she wanted, who she was, that she had no hobbies or outside interests. When she said this, I thought her problems weren't with me, they were things she had to sort out herself. I realize now that I had emotionally shut down due to me being ignored in favor of her job.

S25 has all the toys, a truck, a 99 cobra and a motorcycle. HAs a collection of about 17 hand guns and rifles. He has a degree in criminal justice and wants to be a police officer, but being a male with no military experience he almost has to have a perfect score on tests. He has qualified for a few depts, but they haven't hired down to his score yet. He is very responsible about drinking and driving, he realizes a DUI would prevent him from getting a job as a PO. He has gotten himself out of shape, but has little time. He works FT about 50 to 55 hrs a week and works PT as loss prevention for a major retail store. They have asked him to take over LP dept, but it would a pay cut.

Weather here call for freezing rain/sleet/rain. Fun driving weather. Going yo have S set up outside decorations tomorrow. Get rid of hospital bed Mon, we'll put up tree Mon night.

Going to S26's house tomorrow night to watch Bengals game. Talked with him this afternoon, he's really angry with his mother. He called her to wish her happy T-Day, she still hasn't called him back. S25 feels same way, he's called several times and never a return call. I guess I'll have to call W to tell her she needs to talk to S's. Last time she blamed her phone wasn't working, but now she has a new phone. So now what will be her excuse!!? She has really lost contact with most of her friends except her best friend. She used to be really close with former girl scout leaders, they used to get together every 2 mos. I hope she starts to emerge from the fog soon. I haven't had any contact with W since T-Day.

Mike

[grid, lost]

micoms,
hi, noticed your post ref. W state of mind.

Micoms, I don't want to scare you but kids and you should be starting to become very concerned about your W. mental state.

To me, from my own experience, your W sounds as if she is in very deep depression. sleeping a lot, not returning kids phone calls, lost contact with friends, no interest in anything, knows she doesn't feel like herself, this has been going on for months. ISOLATING herself!
Maybe one of her Ds could convince her to see her family Dr. and even go with her. Talk about how she is feeling and what is going on in her life. Her abnormal work schedule alone would send me into depression. Depression not only being very very painful to live through, 10% of all depressed people committ suicide !!!! Please talk with your kids and express to W how worried you are about her. Please, I have for years fought bouts of sever depression and it is not a state of mind. This is a real medical condition caused by chemical inbalance. Without these chemicals your W may keep going down down. she can control this about as much as a diabetic can attitude their blood sugar levels and the affect.
Also most likely suffer some SAS. Another know cause of depression.
Well now at least i have that off my chest. When ever I hear of someone in depression, my heart goes out to them
When H walked out,the first 4 or 5 months I worked and worked to get him into medical care. OW didn't ! I tried before he left, but his illness working against him. convinced him i was going to have him locked up in a mental hospital for ever !!!!!! He even pulled his HIPA form so our family Dr. could not talk to me about his condition. The dr. lied to me, so as to not have to say H requested it be pulled and to this day we no longer have the same comfort relationship patient to Dr. He is such an outstanding Dr. I sorta hate to leave him. planning to change to another dr. just keep putting it off. In Dr. defense H told me, Erck (dr) begged him not to do this as we were both his patient and he knew this was going to end his and my patient dr relationshp which it did .!
Day H walked out, I had been to a Dr. appointment and when I came home to find him gone. I even had the state police looking for him as I feared he was going to kill himself. Yes, he ran to OW but like I said for months stayed on top of his medical care. Even paid for quite a bit of it out of my pocket.

I sorry your son is unable to get into a police force job. He could always come to City of Elmira and take their exam. Sometimes they like to hire out of area persons to force. That might help him. Myself it always enraged me, someone could drop out of high school, join army, get their GD, college courses and come back with veterans status. While the rest of us were being responsible people in college and yes studying hard for good grades.!
well i am out of dog food so have to go buy some before pet store closes

[micoms]

Grid,

I agree W is suffering from depression. I think she's also MLC, depression is one stage of MLC. Our MC referred her to another C to work on MLC issues, as far as I know she never made an appt. I can't force her to seek help. You're are right, I'll talk to D's, see if W is still sleeping a lot.

S25 has made some forces hiring lists, but they haven't gotten to his score yet. He went to Univ of Cincinnati, got a degree in criminal justice. He was on deans list every quarter except the first two freshman year. I have talked to him about trying to get hired at one of the local colleges, if he does he can go to school free and work on getting his masters.

How many dogs do you have? I know your dogs are big ones, how many pounds of food do you go through a month?

Going to S26's house tonight to watch Bengals game.

Mike

[IAChild]

Hiya Grid!

You asked me a couple of questions on the GAL strategy thread, but thought I'd come to your thread to respond:

1) Graduate school is what you do after a bachelors (undergrad), so no, it's not the same thing.

2) Starting a blog -- I don't have one, but H2B does. I would check out Facebook or Motime. There is also Myspace, but Myspace is fast developing a bad rep for being a hook-up place for teens. I think Motime and Facebook are attracting a more mature audience. Those are the only ones of which I am aware...there may be others.

Essentially, your thread(s) here on DB are blogs specific to your R. I would suggest that if you want to write about your R/M, keep it here. If you want to write about other things, then start a blog...or just a journal. It doesn't have to be online to merely journal.

M

[grid, lost]

micoms,
I have 5 bernese mountain dogs, 3 girls and 2 boys, Only one girl is intact rest are now spayed or neutered.
Yep, I do go through a lot of dog food. Sunday, I purch. 3 large bags of Natural Choice dog food. 1 bag= 45lb Lets see that will last me about 6 wks maybe 7. LOL, I do not dare track the amount of food I buy or vet bills. Vet bills have been the worst this year as 4 of my dogs now have kidney damage due to the bad dog food with additive from China, Wheat glutton???.
anyway, their bills are close to $3,000. and I am talking with insurance co. on settlement. I have a lot of future bills on this kidney issue, plus now I can't breed my bitch (female ), and most likely I'll have to euthanize a couple of them early in life because of the kidney damage.
I love working with the dogs. although with H having left and not able to drive any significant distance because of my health. dog showing is coming to a halt. this is really becoming a concern for me. Now what am i going to do???.
Big dogs it is hard to team up with others to travel to dog shows unless they have same breed.,etc.
Hope you enjoyed your football game.
Yep, I can relate to how you son feels. Work so dam hard in college and then can not get any where. Thank you GWB.!

[grid, lost]

micoms,
I have 5 bernese mountain dogs, 3 girls and 2 boys, Only one girl is intact rest are now spayed or neutered.
Yep, I do go through a lot of dog food. Sunday, I purch. 3 large bags of Natural Choice dog food. 1 bag= 45lb Lets see that will last me about 6 wks maybe 7. LOL, I do not dare track the amount of food I buy or vet bills. Vet bills have been the worst this year as 4 of my dogs now have kidney damage due to the bad dog food with additive from China, Wheat glutton???.
anyway, their bills are close to $3,000. and I am talking with insurance co. on settlement. I have a lot of future bills on this kidney issue, plus now I can't breed my bitch (female ), and most likely I'll have to euthanize a couple of them early in life because of the kidney damage.
I love working with the dogs. although with H having left and not able to drive any significant distance because of my health. dog showing is coming to a halt. this is really becoming a concern for me. Now what am i going to do???.
Big dogs it is hard to team up with others to travel to dog shows unless they have same breed.,etc.
Hope you enjoyed your football game.
Yep, I can relate to how you son feels. Work so dam hard in college and then can not get any where. Thank you GWB.!

[grid, lost]

m,
what are you taking in grad. school ?
I have often considered starting a blog in ref to breed of dog I show.
have wondered how others start their blogs.
I journal about once or twice a month. Does help clear the brain. lol

[micoms]

Grid,

Wow, that's a lot of food. I go through a 40lb bag about every 6 to 8 weeks with our dainty little Lab. She weighs about 95lbs, pretty big for a female. She has to have 100% duck and potato food, she is alergic to something in the regular food. That's so sad, to save some costs the manufacturer goes to a cheap supplier where quality control is unheard of. How far did you have to travel for shows? With dogs that big it must have been quite a chore.

I'm not going to grad school, trying to talk S25 into taking a police officer job at one of the universities here. If you work for a univ., you can go to school free. He could work on his masters degree for free. He has been contacted by a small college about teaching criminal justice, but he's not interested.

My sitch hasn't changed, no contact with W since T-Day. I don't know, seems like she wants D. I don't know why she won't at least give us the opportunity to make it work. Oh well, just rambling.

Mike