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Reading that actually gives me a warm fuzzy. LFL you are a real trooper, when you and I landed here around the same time, you really caught both barrels from me. *cracks up*

Well, you and I have had our moments. We can be like oil and water at times but most of the time I think we meld together nicely. Maybe like oil and vinegar instead. ;\)
Thanks for the words.


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I have a question for you. Do your get rejected still? If not, do you show desire? Or do you just want to receive it? Showing desire is easy when the glasses are on. its probably unavoidable. Thats the point. They are off for both of you and you are still there. Are you happy with your choice? do you show it?

I don't know if I want to get into all this. I'll just say we are still having sex about once a month and frankly I think it's been about two months. I'm not initiating. He does. It's good when we have it. No fights about it at all. It just is what it is and I don't have it in me to force something else.

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You made a point in a later post that you need Control

I couldnt find this. I did say I will not be controlled. There is a difference.
Also the results when I took back control were pretty positive.*nod* really positive.

Semantics. Need control/not be controlled. Two sides of the same coin. I still think you are going to hurt yourself in the long run with this attitude. It may have worked short term but I don't think it's a long term R/M solution. JMHO
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You cannot control another person, I have no desire too, and that is actually where I get stuck. Doing what works as opposed to doing what is pysch healthy.

I hear ya. I can't follow my own advice half the time.

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Do you give demonstrations of desire-- not how you want him to demonstate it- but how he would recognize it?

Honestly? Probably not. We had our company Christmas party last night and I was dressed HOT if I do say so myself.
Short skirt, F-me pumps, hair up off my neck (the way he likes it) and he definitely showed desire. I did too. We were flirty with each other. But when we got home...nothing. We both reverted to our "normal" selves. I put on my flannel pjs (don't laugh, I get cold) \:\/ and he did whatever the heck he was doing. Who knows. We can't stay in a "desirous" groove for long at all. It's all too depressing. But I'm really ok with it. I think.

LFL