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Lan: The reason I probed for her real intentions is that she did this sort of thing earlier only to make a fool of me. All she seems to care about is to get as much money from the settlement. I remember what was in DR ... but hard to implement for me.

Here's what she e-mailed the next day:
Please do not waste my time and yours. I have thought
about it and do not intend to pursue this further. The
Retrouvaille was a big farce and I never should have
agreed to go. It is more than patching up our
differences at this time, please do not make this any
more difficult than it is. We were together for 15
years, you had your chance. It has been 10 months
since I filed, please get over it and move on.

When I talk to her, her body language is interesting - looking away head down, shifty.

How small are the odds of R once D is filed? Once separation occurs with little face to face contact? How does one create the opportunity to meet face to face? How do you reconcile a hostile legal process with the possibility of reconciling? At what point do I give up hope? Even for those successful at DBing how long does it take? Each ones "sitch" is difference so generalizing may be difficult/misleading? Lots more questions ...