I too am glad this weekend went well for you; these calmer days help give strength for the insane ones, I think.
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Yesterday at the competition you would have never known that we are separated.
This is how my H and me are often; we have been at all of the boys' performances and sports activities, and everytime we end up sitting next to each other. H has said some people have given him a hard time b/c he will sit with me!
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Even with the kindness yesterday, I would look at him and just think "I don't like you".
I have been on this up and down with my H too. I even made a declaration of not loving him anymore a few months back (his response was that it didn't hurt as much as he thought it would when I said that...) Since then, though, I find my feelings changing again. My H keeps being very kind, and that doesn't help me with my anger or any sort of conviction. I forgive him a world of hurt, and I don't even know if I should or if he deserves it ... or if it matters that we are doing this dance with such mixed messages.
I think your uncertainty must be normal - it certainly is what I'm feeling - and that there will be no hard and fast known feelings. I'm trying to just hold on - to not push, not pressure, and not judge myself too harshly. You are doing great, it sounds like, and if that's the case, then whatever you feel about him seems valid to me.
Good luck with the open house; hope the good times from yesterday keep going!
