Cat, Finding the right C is critical. And it sometimes takes a few to get there.
My H was seeing a C for a year. Basically his C just let him talk, but didn't give him any tools for coping or working through his depression. In fact, he didn't belive H had any depression going on at all. H stopped finding value in him and jsut stopped going. But things with us got bad again and I almost made H move out. I finally found a C who is a cognitive behavioral therapist. She is more about understanding behaviors, what drives them, getting to the root of them and changing them. Much more proactive. H likes her and is finding more value in her than in the old C.
My point is, if your H doesn't like his C, it won't work. He heeds to feel a connection with his C. And C's work differently. Some are jsut the traditional talk therapy. Others work on develping coping skills and changing behavior. You and your H need to find the right kind of therapy for him. And most imporantly, your H needs to like him/her.
Hang in there. He doesn't feel those feeligns right now becuase he has too much confusion and conflict goign on within himself. And until he works through that within HIM, he will not be able to form a true connection with you. That is why As rarely work. When one looks to a R to fill some sort of emotional void that is going on within him or her, it will only be a short term fix. So, it is only a matter of time before they realise the A wasn't the answer to their prayers. But coming back home and jumping back into an R with us wont' fix it either. They need to fix themselves first.
You are doing great. This stuff is HAAARRRDDD!
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
