w8ting - I don't know whether you will know how you feel about him for a while. We have been treated badly by the one person in the world who OUGHT to treat us well, and it hurts, however magnanimous we are.
ALso their emotional rollercoaster rubs off on us. I suspect tht you do love him, but you don't like the man he is now, and the way he has treated you.
It is probably the wrong question to be asking yourself - how YOU feel about YOU is more important.
