I really hope you discover that your W's parents are some of your strongest supporters in this.
They are exponentially pro-marriage. To the power of 11.
Originally Posted By: Rob1231
If she has told them one tenth of the nutso cr@p that she's been spewing towards you, it's going to be obvious to them just how screwed up she is.
As I have said, SMIL has MSW degree (does not practice, though), so she has training in counseling. And they are both LBS. In hindsight, in many ways, for her it's really a poor choice of people to be counseling with...
Originally Posted By: Rob1231
You are a good man and you have a good relationship with them - no matter how frantically she tries to spin you into a monster and OM into a saint, I believe they are going to see through it. Parents aren't stupid - they watched her grow up, and they will know when she's on a good path and when she's way off the rails.
Agree. And I have no doubt she did not spin OM into a saint. She's done with him. Mostly.
Originally Posted By: Rob1231
You don't need to argue the particulars of her lies with her, or justify yourself to her parents. Just keep standing strong and doing the right thing by yourself and your kids - that will carry more weight with the grandparents than any absurd "transcripts" or crazy suspicions. If she tries to go there, just shake your head, smile a sad, knowing smile, and give her parents a look that says "You see what kind of nonsense I'm having to put up with here?" - remember, YOU are the sane one in this sitch!
I considered, and even began composing, an email to send to the in-laws warning them to take what she has told them with a grain of salt. I didn't finish. I need to trust them, as adults (and LBS's!!!!) to know from where she is coming. They both have had the same spew blown at them (though it was 20+ years ago). And there will be no 4-part "confrontation" where I will say, "see what I'm dealing with?" It's really the last thing that she wants. Though I doubt it would happen, in the event of such a disagreement, I have no doubt that she would fear that her own parents would take my side (pro-marriage). So there will be no such "intervention."
