Intimacy and love go hand in hand, yes. But sometimes it's ugly BF. H and I have been through all sorts of ugly behavior and will continue to go through it in the future.

Reading that actually gives me a warm fuzzy. LFL you are a real trooper, when you and I landed here around the same time, you really caught both barrels from me. *cracks up*

I agree. sometimes it is ugly. Your right, you and Mr dont have rose colored glasses. I have a question for you. Do your get rejected still? If not, do you show desire? Or do you just want to receive it? Showing desire is easy when the glasses are on. its probably unavoidable. Thats the point. They are off for both of you and you are still there. Are you happy with your choice? do you show it?

I know you wouldn't do it BF, but that is you.
I dont think that was accurate, but I wont quibble cause it is now.

You made a point in a later post that you need Control

I couldnt find this. I did say I will not be controlled. There is a difference.
Also the results when I took back control were pretty positive.*nod* really positive.

You cannot control another person, I have no desire too, and that is actually where I get stuck. Doing what works as opposed to doing what is pysch healthy.

Do I trust my H? Not really. Does he trust me? Very doubtful. And that's ok. I wouldn't have given that answer years ago, but now...I do. I have to if I want this M to survive. I don't have control. Neither does he. We either stick this out together...or we don't. Scary but true.

Nice.

And I still want/need desire, dammit.
There she is.

Do you give demonstrations of desire-- not how you want him to demonstate it- but how he would recognize it?