Back at DB/new marriage new WAW

[dh4320]

Thanks Anne,

I feel good today, its still not easy working as much as i do and be a single dad for now, its full time all day at the office then full time at home, i have some friends watching the kids tonight so i can go into Dallas and eat sushi with some friends. The best way i put it to my attorney is this " she chose this path, i will not be there to make the path smooth, she must feel the bumps in the path and deal with them." Her aunt called me again, says they are talking again, but if she even mentions my name or our situation she says the W will either hangup or change the subject. Why cant she openly talk about what is going on???? anyone know the answer to this cuz that is what i dont understand>>>

D

[ann25]

Hi D. There are so many times i feel like a single mom (he doesn't do much) and I'm exhausted. I can only imagine how you must feel really living it and dealing with W. Have fun tonight, you deserve it!

Best guess - she feels guilty and angry and doesn't want to face things.

If aunt says :how are things going with M. She has to get into the trouble she has caused herself. She'll blame it on you and Aunt may come back and say, 1)well, you got yourself into this mess 2) why don't you try to work it out. Not sure, but If I was her and had done what she did, I wouldn't want to hear either of those. She's loony toons right now though, so who knows!

[dh4320]

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[dh4320]

Hi All,

Had some friends watch the kids last night and i went into dallas with some friends and had a great time. Have not heard from the W since thursday which is fine, its easier to detach that way. I am not wondering what she is doing, since i know she cant be doing all that much without a job and tight on funds. One of my friends last night talked to me about the OM and the A. She said its not real, my W is filling a void right now, but its not going to make her happy in the long run. She asked me if my W did take her meds and wanted to come back in the future what would i do. I told her i cant answer that its too hard to predict how i will feel 3,6,9 months from now. Right now its pleasant no daily arguments no complaining from her, free time with my kiddos and less stress. So to say i am focusing on the positives in all this is an understatement. Hope you all are doing good....

[dh4320]

Had a great C session today, my C told me he is proud of me and that i am keeping my feet planted. In the last sessionn he told me the odds of us working out was slim. Since then he has met with W. Today he said what if she came back, a few times he said this, does he know something i dont?? last time he said it was unlikely but now it seems he feels the way i am handling this will help her wake up, he didnt know much about DB but he encourages a lot of what DB stands for. The W called tonight, first in 2 days and asked if our 2 1/2 year old was awake, i said no. Its only 6 30 she said and i told her he had a very active day and did not nap so he fell asleep, she seemed upbeat on the phone and i told her if he wakes up i will call her, kept it short and told her bye. I told the C today after he noticed i was better spirited that i am this way since i am looking at the positives and not the negatives in all this. Do you guys think i am reading into too much...

[dh4320]

bump

[dh4320]

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[dh4320]

Hi all,

W started emailing me like crazy last night wanting help with money. She wants me to help her into a new place and help with groceries and gas while she is out playing instead of putting her life in order. I told her that she needs to get a job first and we will go from there. She says she wants to see the kids in the evenings but does not want to inconvenience anyone to have to sit there with her. So she is either trying to get me to lift the supervision requirement(which i wont) or she is reaching out for me to say come over and spend time with the kids while i am there. SHe says she is so confused from the mediation(she said it was on tuesday it was actually thursday) so she doesnt even know what day it is half the time. How should i approach letting her see the kids more often, me being around and dbing and laso being firm on my boundaries???? any help would be great///

[dh4320]

Still need a little help here, some people are telling me to have her come over and i be the supervisor and do things with the kids, that the kids need to see us together sometimes, is this good or a bad idea, i need help... I can db like hell when she is around, but something inside tells me that dbing wont work on her, i dont know what it is about her but i dont think she looks at me as a dber doing any good for us as parents... any answers???????

[ann25]

Her life is falling apart and she wants you to pick up the pieces.

I think if you are comfortable with supervising her visits with the kids and are confident in your ability to DB with her, then you could. I love that she doesn't want to inconvenience anyone but you. hehe. If you do that, you are the supervisor. Don't give into her when you are there. Stay firm in what you are doing.

On the other hand - She got herself into this mess. There were other options, but she chose this route, now she needs to deal with it. She needs to pick up the slack and then maybe she'll have more options.

I wouldn't read a whole lot to what you hear that she says to other people. She obviously needs your help. I know you want her back, but do you want it to be because she didn't want to have to get a job and wants you to pay for her or because she realizes that she wants YOU back. is it money or love...