I am just feeling the pain of limbo. I cannot adequately communicate with W, either because there are some things that we shouldn't ask or say (for the sake of DB/DR), or because W refuses to be open and honest even when she expects the same from me -- and then denies it and turns it around as if I am the one being that way.
And if I don't carry the conversation the whole time, it just goes nowhere and then W blames me for our failure to communicate. I really am caught between a rock and a hard place. I want to detach so badly for myself, but I have to also give this M as much opportunity as I can for the sake of my family.
I guess I am beginning to cycle back towards depression and fretting over whether I am really seeing even any baby steps. And with the holidays among us, I can sense it getting worse. I know to expect this, but it doesn't make it any easier to accept. At the least I can say to myself, "What have I got better to do?"
I've also feel I've got to start keeping by expositions a little more reigned in. Over on Scott's (EmtnRllrCstr) thread I gave this long-winded speech in response to his comment to me. I went off preaching about my spiritual opinion when I realize it was as much for my ears as for Scott's or anyone else's -- I find I am also trying to reinforce my stance for myself as well.
See? I did it with this response too.
More importantly, getting back to lighter subject matter, how are you and your sons?
