Kev is right. Listen to everything that he posted to you!!!!!
Ok, I could end right there but I have to say my piece first. He's feeling hurt that you didn't help him out? WTF? Did you get that? Did it jump right out at you and hit you between the eyes? Cause it did me and I'm still seeing stars! That one comment says it all. It really doesn't matter that you put your life on hold for him, or that financially you are in Limbo, or (most importantly) that he cheated on you and broke your heart. Does he not see the hurt that his actions have caused to you? If he were normal, or had a conscience, he would be ashamed of himself for writing that. Thing is he is neither of those thing. He is so self-centered that all he thinks about is himself and what he wants. I know that with your big soft heart getting to a place of understanding has been tough, but you've done so well with that. Sometimes I read this junk and it's like a bizarro world. Almost as if he the tables were turned in his mind and you were the one who caused this. I'm only saying these things to you because when you write this junk I see a very parallel situation between us.
Why oh why would your lawyer ever advise you to talk to him on a 1 on 1? He's a master manipulator and I see no good outcome from that. The only way he will "do the right thing" is if he is ordered to. So if you want to know exactly where you stand make it legal.
If you think that it is easy for me to write this and to say this stuff about your ex, it isn't. Actually it hurts. For so long I wanted to believe that my husband was in there somewhere, and even though everyone had an opinion, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. In the end, I was the one with the blinders on. If they are ever to "see the light" it will only be because we stopped enabling them and buying into their crap!
Love you Sweetie and only wanted to see you have the best. You are so worth it!
