DD and I went to C yesterday. Everything is good but I broke down. I kept hearing myself say the words "he threw me away", etc. DANG! I really thought I was over that. So I have been contemplating why I am feeling that way. He took DD to our family concert. Great! But it reinforced that I wasn't wanted. It also turned up feelings of anger. I am stuck with all the bills and care but he gets to go out and have fun with DD. Also, I don't feel appreciated. C said the he doesn't ask about me at all, and DD asked that I not ask anything other than when are they getting together. Ok, I can live with that but it also feels like no one cares about me. I am suppose to bear the brunt of all the work and not be appreciated for what I am giving up. He doesn't even think or ask about me. I am nothing but a caretaker.
Well, gotta shovel snow (winter finally came to Utah) and drive DD to work and then go shovel my dad's driveway. I'll be ok just need to work through this.
Sitting quietly doing nothing, the flowers bloom effortlessly.
bomb: Jan 25, 2006 not seen since DD moved in with H - 9/1/08 H filed for divorce - 11/2008 Divorce dismissed by courts - 4/2010 still nothing
