With MLC Women - Do they come back????

[lawless]

Oh man, that has to be one of the toughest things to endure, my heart really goes out to you on this one, lawless. My question to you is, why do you think she would want to come back? Is it because of her being w/child and feeling vulnerable, is it because she now realizes you're the one she wants to be with, supposed to be with? And why do you think DBing would make the difference?

I actually didn't take her pregnancy all that hard as her absolute craziness had the bridge burnt to cinders, I was at a place where I could see that the past wasn't all that good after all, perhaps I was actually believing the BS she spewed or maybe my blinders had fallen off but I know what I was feeling.

She didn't get a chance to leave I tossed her out like yesterdays trash. I found out about her A and gave her one chance, end it now and I will see if I can get past this I said. She claimed to have ended it and then 2 days later I caught her with OM again. When she came home I gave her 24 hrs to vacate and remove possessions. She moved to a motel with OM and stayed there for 6 weeks while trying to find a place she could afford.

This back story is important because in my pain I didn't see her trying to maintain a connection with me. Looking back I can think of at least 2 occasions that I could have asked her to come home and I believe she would have. I was far from perfect as a DBer, I tried my best but for those 2 occasions didn't see progress on her part at all. My STBXW and your W DNQ are very much birds of a feather, about the only thing I haven't had the experience of is the jail time you had and the restraining order, I did however get a good old fashioned beat down at the hands of my STBXW shortly after I tossed her out as well as her "liberation" of almost 6 figures of our finances which BTW has been spent in 13 months.

So why do I think she would return now?

There are many signs, she is spending a lot more time with her kids, she has reconnected with her parents to an extent and she has been attempting reconnection with me. She is doing a lot of talking to me about her day and what is happening in her life, she is desperate for information on what I am doing with my life. A month or so ago I had a weekend away she called several times concerned that I was OK because the roads were terrible for travel.

I think she is waking up very slowly and beginning to see that all that was gold is actually rust. She is going to be the mother of an infant at almost 40, her OM is 24 and I think she is starting to see that he is going to run fast and far when she gives birth in a month. I see her being a single working parent within 6 months. She will probably be declaring bankruptcy soon as she is flat ass broke. Everything has gone very badly for her but in many ways it has gotten much better for me.

Has she hit the bottom? I don't think she's quite there yet but I am sure she can see it coming up fast. I do think her pregnancy does have a lot to do with it as well as the very positive changes I've made, she's commented on a couple of them recently. Perhaps another big one was the fact that I told her she could never return, this was a response to her claiming "we will never get back together" during one of her venomous spews some 6 or 7 months ago.

I will admit that even though I did a lot of anti DB things in the beginning I wouldn't change the way I did them and I would not hesitate to do them again if god forbid this ever happens again.

[DadNotQuitting]

My STBXW and your W DNQ are very much birds of a feather

Now that is scary!!!

about the only thing I haven't had the experience of is the jail time you had and the restraining order

Be thankful for that. And for any of you in California, please realize that it is so easy for a WAW to use this extremely powerful tool against you.

as well as her "liberation" of almost 6 figures of our finances which BTW has been spent in 13 months.

Next Friday, I will be receiving my wife's banking records. I served a subpoena on her bank, and we will hopefully find out where the missing $131,000 went. I know how you feel.......

There are many signs, she is spending a lot more time with her kids

If nothing else, that is very good, so long as it is "quality" time.

I think she is waking up very slowly and beginning to see that all that was gold is actually rust.

Veru prophetic... No surprise though, it seems as though they seek out anyone that isn't us, only to find that it never is what they really think it could be.

She is going to be the mother of an infant at almost 40, her OM is 24 and I think she is starting to see that he is going to run fast and far when she gives birth in a month.

Is there an X-box tournament somewhere?? Nice don't you think? We have young men, real men, serving our country in wartime, younger than this dirtbag and he cannot handle this type of responsibility.

I see her being a single working parent within 6 months. She will probably be declaring bankruptcy soon as she is flat ass broke. Everything has gone very badly for her but in many ways it has gotten much better for me.

OK, so how much does this play into her supposed thought process to reclaim her marriage with you? I've wondered how much the financial aspects have an impact. My W is really feeling this right now too, and I could fix it pretty easily, but have chosen not to do so.

Has she hit the bottom? I don't think she's quite there yet but I am sure she can see it coming up fast.

OK, the old "hit bottom" theory... Does it matter? Will the bottom cause them to look back to "the top"?

[lawless]

DNQ,

I think her impending bankruptcy is not much of a factor in her bottom. I get the feeling that it's largely the new baby that's bringing her back to the living. You see OM is a drug using schizo, this turd "sees" things, I on the other hand have been a good father before all this happened, I have become a much better father because of this. I've heard that it's very attractive to a woman this good father stuff.

The bottom line is that I no longer want what I so desired 7 months ago, all I want at this time is for her to heal herself and become a mother to her kids again, it wouldn't bother me much if I never had to deal with her on a personal level ever again.