Absolutely not! You deserve a high five for the strength and courage you have shown. I went through a period where I had to tell a wonderful woman we couldn't even be friends because she was too tempting to me. She was gorgeous, likes children, etc but I know that it would take me from my true goal -- to quit messing around and have a real relationship with God. I have played around with that for such a long time. Now that I am on that path, I understand others who have said that it will give you such an inner peace which is incredible with all of the personal turmoil I have gone through with my W. This relationship with God is helping me refrain from spinning like I was constantly doing. Now, when my W does something that is incomprehensible, I start to get frustrated but then hand it over to God to help me deal with it -- and He does. I make far fewer "mistakes" with my W, my children, my mother, friends and coworkers now. DNQ, this is the hardest part because you are in a transition period. Find yourself a mentor that is genuine that can tirelessly deal with your questions and help you on your walk. FaithfulH is a wonderful resource (sorry Faithful, I know you are a busy man).
FaithfulH I had no idea that Penny was caught up in a lesbian affair (Inverse Ministries). I had gone out to the site and listened to her testimony but I didn't hear that. Thank you!!! With my sitch, it is wonderful to hear that a marriage was restored with such a scary backstory. Before I was getting on good terms with God i.e. handing my life over to Him, I was terrified that my W would be forever shackled and would never be able to escape back to our family. I know anything can happen with Him and that the Lord would go after any of His sheep that have strayed (which I believe my W was truly one of His).
DNQ, buddy, you can do this. I can relate to the torment of leaving Linda behind because she has become an imaginary safety net but as you know, she can't be that. If you ever need to talk, e-mail me.
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
