Wow, Lou, I wished I had had those articles to read a long, long time ago. One says what DomR has been trying to tell me and the other says what Cemar has been trying to tell me....I think. I appreciate you sending them to me. God, I wished I had had those when I was a lot younger.
But, my concern now is that I don't feel desire for him. I am struggling with that. I think I am still a WAW in my heart. I tried for a few months to over-come that and thought it was getting better, but then the depression got worse. He does things around the house to try to help me due to my health condition, he knows I'm not up to it. So, I have to give him credit for that. A lot of men wouldn't care one way or the other. I do get put out with him about the other things I've written about, but I guess all R has problems about stuff like that.
My heart hurts b/c I want to feel attraction for him and desire him sexually. I truly do, but have not felt that in so many years. Then when I got involved with the OM and he stirred up those sexual feelings.....well. I know what I did was wrong, but I have had a hard time getting the OM out of my head. About the time I think I'm over it, I start having fanstasies about him at night when I go to bed. That is embarrasing to say. I fought it for a long time, but here lately, it seems to be coming back again. That is why I am scared that I'm getting back to the place I was before. I feel so vulnerable.
However, I may not have any problems soon about any sexual desire for anyone, due to the Zoloft I'm taking. The doctor doubled my dosage and I've only been taking it a month and I can already tell that it is decreasing my sex drive. Maybe that will take care of any temptation to contact OM, but it certainly won't help with my MR. I am afraid that I may not be on the right type of AD b/c I just don't want to do anything....not even put up a Christmas tree. I have no interest in anything at all. I can't make myself finish reading all those books I bought about MR.......nothing. I sure hope I am better by Christmas, for my family's sake or I will be like a zombie. That was pretty much the state I was in before when I was on AD's.
Well, thank you again for the articles. It helped me to understand men a lot better without the resentment I was feeling when the others was trying to say the same thing. Sorry DomR and Cemar.
I really need everyone's prayers right now.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I can sympatize with your situation. Unfortunately I let my 30yr marriage break-up due to my fantisies of an OW who I married. What a mistake that was. Now I'm miserabel--wish I had been on some kind of medication or therapy. Do everything in your power to keep your marriage together. It's worth it.
Would you come back and talk to me more? I am so afraid I am going to give in to the temptation to contact the OM again. Please tell me how you regret marrying your OW, etc. I appreciate you in-put.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
He didn't take much time up with me. He just said that we would double the dosage and see if that helped. I told him I felt even more depressed than before and he said that we could go up to 150 mg without changing my other medications. I don't think I want to have to take that much. And, I have only been on it a month and I can tell the sex drive is decressing rapidly. Plus, I sure don't need to gain weight, which I hear is a bad side-effect. So, as usual, I still don't know what do to about myself. Thanks for checking up on me.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Dear Lou, if you know any more articles like the ones you sent me....send them on. I need all I can get right now to keep me encouraged. I'm afraid my attiutde toward my H has not been good and the depression is not helping.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Sandi, The medicine really may not be right for you, although that would be a blessing if it did kick in. I have been off the AD for 2 months now, and I know that the depression is hovering and waiting to land, kind of like Lil's hawks! I am exploring alternatives to the medicine right now, which is really not like me to say, but I have had enough.
Maybe something like warm baths to relax and help with the fibromyalgia, and plenty of bubbles for fun!, along with some nice scents, massage, etc. may be of help.
RJ, I took a workshop with Amy Weintraub a few months ago calle "Yoga for Depression." She has a book by that title and a website, too. You might find her approach helpful. She has cases in there of people who have gotten off AD's and used yoga techniques (especially breathing techniques) to keep depression at bay. She has a CD called (I think) "Breathing to Beat the Blues" that has some very good breathing exercises. You could practice the exercises in your cute little meditation room.
A benefit (especially for someone like you-- and me) is that her approach really brings you in touch with your body. You really INHABIT your body, something that 4's aren't too keen on doing.
No judgments on my part. 
