Mopsey - you get wonderful advice from Snodderley, but I cannot agree that he really loves this woman. If he was happy and in love he would not be in this emotional state IMO.
He seems stuck to me, with a lot of emotional damage that he just cannot get to the point of dealing with. Others may be able to explain why.
As to manipulation - I saw my h with a therapist on our single joint session, and I thought my very clever and manipulative h would wipe the floor with the therapist - Not so - The therapist had his number. However, they CAN refuse to work at the therapy, but that is another issue, and the therapist will call him on this, if he tries to play this game
