being loved requires intimacy. there is no intimacy with rose colored glasses on, because you arent seeing the flaws.
Who said anything about rose-colored glasses? Intimacy and love go hand in hand, yes. But sometimes it's ugly BF. H and I have been through all sorts of ugly behavior and will continue to go through it in the future. There are No rose-colored glasses. Yet the love it there. Is it a complete love? Heck no. We are missing some pieces of the puzzle. But like you said, it is our Choice to remain in this M and love each other how each of us can. I know you wouldn't do it BF, but that is you. You made a point in a later post that you need Control. I think that is where you are going to be stuck. You cannot control another person, even as alpha and attractive as you may be. You either accept it or move on. Lots of people choose to move on. Do I trust my H? Not really. Does he trust me? Very doubtful. And that's ok. I wouldn't have given that answer years ago, but now...I do. I have to if I want this M to survive. I don't have control. Neither does he. We either stick this out together...or we don't. Scary but true.
And I still want/need desire, dammit. There in lies the rub.
