So latest updates. At our usual Wednesday lunch we had a good chit chat the first half then the second half a harder discussion about us. We both are moving in the wrong direction financially from where we want to be going and I brought this up. At first she thought I was saying reconcile because I was going broke, hell I am broke and no that's not the reason. Its the one practical reason yes but it's not the reason I want to reconcile. So further discussions and I think she understood that point. If we are going to work on us lets do it now and minimize the financial disaster about to happen to both of us is my point.
She did say she wants to work on us now. She said she'd get a list of recommended counselors from our girl's counselor. I told her she had given me a list early on and I would email it to her. I did that Wed night along with a couple of specific suggestions on speaking my love language, hug when we greet and depart and sharing tidbits of her day with me. (Sadly, she's not done my primary, physical touch and limited secondary, quality conversation.) The suggestions came about because of a discussion about efforts. She thought she was doing a good job at trying with our weekly lunches, Sunday family dinners and nightly phone conversations after we each talk to the girls. Yes all of that is nice but a simple hug when we are together would go a hell of a long way with me. A hug she initiates not me.
So other happenings. Last night we had our usual Friday pizza and a movie, A Christmas Story. Love that movie! She spent yesterday afternoon decorating the house for Christmas and it looked great. I noticed she hug all four stockings up, wonder why but I won't analyze it.
I am really getting to the point where if she can't make the simple gestures of physical touch I may bail completely. It's been 14 months now since she bombed me and the last time we kissed or MLed. I'm not sure I have it emotionally left in me to continue. That's hard to take because I do see her efforts but for me they are still missing the mark. I feel that is she was at least somewhat serious she'd look to make at least some little effort at speaking my love language. I sure as hell have been trying to speak hers, at her request! At first I loved doing it but now, I'm not getting anything back emotionally just getting spent.
Last edited by catfan; 12/01/0701:03 PM.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa