OK, for all of those that have been following my sitch.
MAJOR UPDATE..................
Tonight, Linda and I had "the talk". The bottom line is that I made it clear to her that my goal is to restore my marriage through whatever means. I'm deciding to "stand". And to do so, the "relationship" things between us must come to an end. In other words, no more sex, no more sleep-overs, and all that. For the record, that's where we've been for the last couple weeks, mainly because she could no longer be with me that way when she felt I was interested in putting it all back together with my wife.
The hardest part is that we mutually decided to no longer see each other, not even as friends. Too hard for both of us, but more for her. I do love her, no doubt.
I cannot tell you how difficult this is for me. She is such a wonderful woman. And, ready for this, she is so perfectly capable of being a great step-mom to my kids. We talked about that, and I'm perfectly convinced as to this. How is that for a risk? You all pummeled for exposing my kids to her, and now I find that she is very much enthralled with them. With her brief exposure to them, she has now accurately described to me their personalities, their strenghts and weaknesses. She gets them, and for the record, they really like her too. Bash me if you'd like, but this is so damn tough. I want to stand, I really do, but at what cost, at what risk? I KNOW that Linda would be a great partner, someone that would wrap herself up in my children, and her family is pretty awesome too. I spent Thanksgiving with them, including a niece and nephew that are exactly two weeks older and two weeks younger than my S6. Oh, and how fun was this, one niece had the same name as my wife, and another the same name as my daughter.....
Leave the 2x4's out of this, I'm having a hard time right now. I just walked away from a beautiful woman, one that has her heart in the right place, one that let me go in love knowing that I'm still in love with another. We cried together, and even discussed making love and spending one last night together. In the end, I went away into the cold night, both of us realizing that that would just confuse us more, and be more painful.
So here is my stand. Alone - without her support, her reinforcement.
