WAW does not want to try

[Lanzo]

Hi wawpioneer,

Don't dispair there is hope.

My wife came home one day and said that she was not "in love" with me anymore but she still cares about me or still loves me. I was devastated. She said that she has felt this way for years and that she feels like she should not have married me and should have broken up with me when we were dating even.

Earlier this year my W used all of these terms to express her dissatisfaction in our marriage. Yes, even to the point of saying we should never have married at all, so I really know where you are coming from.

Read the list Brit has given you, get and read the DR/DB books, put into practice the DB techniques, they will work for you if you are patient. I can see small baby steps in my sitch, because up until a few weeks ago my W wouldn't talk to me, didn't want to be in the same room as me, but now that is changing, slowly. The same positive changes can happen for you.

Make detachment your friend, detach yourself from your W, from your M, most of all from the thought of the OM. Fill that void with GAL activities, do things for you to make you feel better. Also, stay upbeat and happy around your W even if you feel like sh*t on the inside. If she decides to file you can't fight it, you'll have to openly understand and validate her feelings and go along with it, even though a little voice in your head is screaming NO !!.

A positive outlook from you will buy you some time while your W tries to figure out what she really wants to do, at the very least it will cause her to delay filing. If you buckle under the pressure and go back to begging, pleading, crying etc that will only confirm her feelings to leave you, and she'll be gone.

Keep posting and keep reading on this site because we're all here to help you.