What a good year this has been.....

[forever21]

Kev!!!!!!

Great to hear from you, brotha. Hope all is well with you.

Thanks for your advice. You are so good with this.

1. Drop any further talk of the quit claim - you do NOT owe him an explanation, he is being a whiny little brat about not getting his way, and if he brings it up all you need to say is "I wasn't comfortable signing it given the information I had" and drop the rope by not discussing or responding further even if he tries (which there is a good chance he will). Even if it means simply clamming up and saying nothing while he asks you if you're still on the phone.

Agreed. No problemo. I won't bring it up. (And I haven't before now either.) And I'll just go silent after that. That part is hard for me to stick to, but I like a challenge.

2. As far as discussing the finances, simply give it the old college try (no pun intended ). Speak with him or even text him with "I'd like to discuss finances with you regarding our divorce" and go from there. Either he'll be willing or he won't, you really don't have anything to lose in that respect. And, if he agrees but only so he can try and switch the subject to other things, like the quit claim, go back to the silent treatment.

lol, on the old college try. I love your suggestion for what to tell him I want to speak with him about. I'll probably use that. I was thinking that he may not even be serious about wanting to D himself, as he'd only said that in an email when he wasn't getting what he wanted, so he may be a little surprised... but then again, maybe just relieved. Now, the silent treatment is hard for me like I said. I mean, I can do that at first but then I usually crack. I may have to then simply end the call, but I'll see how long I can go. I really appreciate how detailed your suggestions are because they truly help prepare me. You're awesome! Thank you.

The bottom line is, you sound like you're in a really good frame of mind, especially with the road you're heading down. You are in a position to no longer let HIM dictate how things will go. You can give him the opportunity to participate in the process so you can try to work things out as amicably as possible, but if he doesn't take that opportunity than proceed on your own. Again, there is a solid possibility that he will pull out the stops via tantrums, berating/insulting you, or otherwise verbally abusing you to try and strongarm his way to get what HE wants. Do your best to ignore that, it's just BS.

Thanks! I'm not sure how much of a choice I'm giving him right now though. I'll be asking for the same thing regardless. That's why I'm a bit confused about the L thinking we should discuss our finances. But I still get ya. It would be nice if this could be more peaceful. We don't need to waste money on the Ls fighting over everything.

Yeah, I'm not feeling threatened at this point. My L has advised me to wait to change the locks until at least after I've filed, and I'm fine with that. I may feel differently when I know he's going to be served. I will be wise. I may just go stay at my parents' around that time.

Attitude is everything, no?

I have been using my wood stove all week, because my gas furnace is having an issue. Hopefully it's not a major repair. It's so nice that I have the option of putting that further down the list of priorities right now. I actually came to quickly enjoy the heat from the fire vs. keeping the thermostat at 62. I prefer 72, and sure like it even warmer. I think the dogs do too. I've even been sleeping on the couch in the room where the stove is so I am nice and warm... and I've been sleeping really good. It's a lot more work but it's been kinda fun. We're supposed to have snow tomorrow. Hope so. Would love to build a snowman with the neighbor kids. Anywho, all is good here.

Thanks again, Kman. (((((Kev)))))

Love, f21