I snapped at H a little tonight. I've already mentioned that he's been making these little comments here and there about my parenting choices (about little things usually) that are subtle but obvious (is that an oxymoron??). Anyway he did it again tonight and after 3 days with a sick kid and a newborn I wasn't in the mood to take it!
He asked how S was sleeping and told much better last night after I tried something new. I put his infant carrier (car seat) into his crib and let him sleep in it. Worked like a charm and he actually got almost 5 hours sleep IN A ROW! (I wish I could say I got 5 hrs sleep but D was up a lot through the night with her fever.) S had been sleeping in the bed with me and was sleeping really well, but I wanted to get him in his crib so I could get a better nights sleep. I've been trying to swaddle him and put him in his crib but he'll only sleep laying flat that way for a couple hours at most. Our D was not like this at all...she slept flat and in her crib from the beginning no problem.
Since H hasn't been here one single night since S was born, he thinks everything should be the same as with her. So he asked why I put the carrier in the crib I said because he won't sleep for long flat...he says "that's because you always had him propped up on a pillow in bed with you". I said, the reason he was propped on a pillow is because he wouldn't sleep flat! Kind of a chicken before the egg thing...but who the hell does he think he is passing judgement on something he isn't even here to experience??? So I said to him in an angry but calm voice as D was there "Is there fault in everything I do???". He looked at me with that sarcastic face and just said..."Yeah". What an A$$&*^E!! He was civil after that I didn't sense any anger which was kind of weird. We even had a couple smiles over somethings our D said. I'm thinking it was a good thing that I said something. I totally dropped it immediately which is not like my former self...I've realized that harping never got us anywhere and letting it go usually gives him the opportunity to reflect on himself. I'm just not sure if the alien he's turned into is capable of taking an honest look within himself at the moment. I think that standing up for myself this way may be the 180 I need!
