Get Me On A Smoother Ride....Need Advice #7

[SueS]

Hi-

So other than the 2 minute convo with H this morning about D3's Dr. visit, we had no contact during the day.

I picked D3 up from school and we went to eat. It is cold here, so we headed for home right after. It was fun, but I just kept thinking about how sad it was. I saw another woman & a little girl eating together & I wondered if we were in the same boat.

Got home and started to relax when H called. I was surprised, as it was after the time he should have left from work and he is going to a concert. He asked what we were doing. Then he proceeded to tell me that I shouldn't be surprised if I get a call from the police tonight. I asked what that meant. He said not to be surprised if he gets a DUI. WTF?? He went on to completely explain how he'd missed a 2nd level bonus by a very, very small amount. He'd had what he called a lay-up of a deal at 5:00. They had it all set up so it would close tonight. It would have put him about 100.00 over what he needed for that bonus. Underwriting denied it and basically told him that he should have done it earlier in the day, as the person who needed to approve it was gone for the day. SOOOOOO, he told me...I'd intended to celebrate if I reached that bonus by getting loaded. I'd also intended on drowning my sorrows if I didn't reach it by getting loaded. So, either way, I'm getting loaded tonight. AND....apparently driving home. Smart huh?? Now, I know this is something dangerous and yes, I worry. I also don't know how I can stop him. I don't know if he's going with anyone, where it's at...etc. Now, isn't that putting your family first?? As I said earlier, the drinking is increasing. Either because things aren't going as planned with OW or because they are going as planned and the guilt & confusion of what he's doing to us is getting heavier.

I lived with an alcoholic father (almost 8 years sober now). I love him and he was never an angry drunk, but I don't want my D to go through what I did. The embarrasment, the worry...etc. If this M is to survive, that needs to get under control also.

Well, I need to get a few things done tonight and I'm tired. I just hope when H does get home that he passes out on the couch watching tv as he has the past few nights. And I pray that he doesn't hurt anyone on his way home.

SueS