[quote=Jack_Three_Beans]I think I would agree that many WAS/MLC persons don't return out of embarassment.
I've thought a lot about this one, so it's interesting you bring it up here. Do you think they are embarassed on behalf of the LBS, or is it because so much of the family, friends, neighbors, teachers, etc... have seen and heard?
How about this one, could it be that they just don't want to face the LBS wrath and acrimony (which is better than alimony!!!)? My wife told a friend that relayed it to me that she couldn't come back because she knew that in six months we'd just be back to where we are now. In other words, she doesn't believe that I'm capable of any substantive change, and that I'd be the same old DNQ, the one that assigned to her all of the blame after our first reconciliation.
How do you allow them to understand that the changes are real? Sure, they just see it in their interactions with you. I guess. In my sitch, though, she and I have NO communication, no contact, nothing. Not even on behalf of our children. So that makes it a bit tough for me to DB, other than do the things I can do for myself.
Originally Posted By: missmyfriend
But I do believe the majority of M that never reconcile usually falls with the LBS. I think far more LBS have burned bridges with their spouses, either intentionally or otherwise.
This is most likely more true with a WAW and male LBS I would bet. Based on what many of you have read in my main thread, you would probably say that this is what I'm doing (and Jack has been VERY vocal about this - thankfully in a constructive manner, so thanks.... - OMG, DNQ does listen!) I so much WANT to stand, and I've been coming back more and more lately to understand what level of commitment that does take.
