This is all sounding like it is going around in circles. You or/and Cemar say I need to desire my H and to do things (like have sex) to make him happy, satisfy his needs and not only that but do it b/c I desire him.....not that I'm horny and....not that I'm HD or LD. If I tell him I want him to feel that he can have sex with me whenever he wants without fearing rejection....that is the wrong thing, or not good enough....I'm suppose to desire him. If I ask how can I do that if I have LD....that is not the point. And then I'm asked if whenever I "offered myself" if it was out of love for him? Well, of course it was! I wanted to make my H happy and if we waited for me to have HD....we would never have sex. Maybe that is true about being horny.....and maybe about desire for sex....b/c isn't it all tied in together?
Honestly, I give up. This is getting way too confusing for me. It seems that no matter what I do, it is wrong. Just like with him.....I've tried everyway I know to explain my feelings and my heart, but I guess I just don't know how to communicate. Or, maybe it is me that doesn't understand what you all are saying. Eveything I have ever done for my H has been b/c I loved him, wheather it was cook his supper or have sex with him. Maybe I wasn't in the mood to do either one, but I knew he needed both, so I wanted to make him happy and satisfy his needs. But you & Cemar say that is not what a man wants.....he wants the w to "desire" him, so then I say, fine but how do I desire him if I don't have any sex drive? You come back and say that is not the point. So you must be making a difference between being horny and having desire for my H. So, now I am totally confused b/c I don't feel any of it........love, desire, horny, sex drive, attraction.....nothing except a "brotherly love". So how's that fit into your manual?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
