I Was Almost A Walk-Away Wife (next thread)

[Dom R]

heh.. well, Sandi's sociable, so I'm sure she wont mind a diversion...

Dom R (not trying to highjack this, but...) for me (possibly for other women) if I'm not horny/aroused/in the mood etc. sex can hurt. There are things I can do for him other than sex because although I'd prefer not to for me, I do want him to be happy, but actually having sex can be uncomfortable and painful.

Well, I'm no expert on "how a woman feels" in that situation. but, a silly yet standard question: are you using artificial lubrication in that situation?
('cause if you arent... you probably should be!)

[and did you mean to ask a question in there, such as, "ARE there things I can do for him...."?]

He can tell... my H has a way of making me feel guilty for not wanting him or being attracted to him, like I just decided to be like that one day or something. I totally understand the meatloaf analogy, but we get together and although I'm giving it everything I've got, he can tell... any advice/opinion/ideas on how to deal with that?

weell.. depends on what you are actually like at the time.
What do you mean, by "giving it everything you've got"?
What are you focusing on, when you do that? What is your "external" focus, and what is your "internal" focus?


To give a "what not to do"example: If you're externally focused on doing a specific mechanical motion... but internally, you're focused on "ugh.. this is tiring.. and I really dont want to do this... i wish he'd just hurry up and be done"...
...yeah, the man can usually tell, and that will probably cause him to be unhappy about it.