I think sometimes this is OW triggered, sometimes it is just because H is so confused and guilty and YOU are the person he can take out his anger/guilty/feeling of indecision on.
He is pushing your buttons to force you to make the decision to file - it's like they need us to agree that D is the only answer.
Actually, when he brought up D a week ago, I said that I would contact my attorney the next day. He said no, we should wait until we sell our house so people don't think we need to dump it. However, I did agree with him that D is obviously the only answer if he continues the A. He will have to be the one to file, though.
My IC thought the push for a decision might have come from ow ho. I was telling her about the recent developments and that ow said how she hoped that someday I would see her differently.... MY IC laughed out loud and said - "You'll never be her friend. Her "hopes" are not of any concern to you".
Joie - when I say I need to control my anger, I mean saying these really awful things. I've reverted back a couple times to the begging and pleading and getting nasty stuff. DB or not, I let my hurt and anger get the best of me.
Hi, I think that's what I was trying to say, too -- I let my anger and hurt get the best of me, too sometimes -- despite trying to DB. Just got to let go sometimes...
OW hopes one day you'll see her differently? Get real. Until she has gone through what you have gone through, she has no idea. What nerve.
I'm waiting to see if your H will file after pushing you to do it.
Ever have one of those days where you swear you have some weird "aura" around you. I had some guy at work tell me how great I look in jeans (I usually dress up for work). I think he was looking at my a$$... hahahaha!!!
Then, I was stopped at a light while driving and this guy stops abruptly and whips his head around to stare at me. That just made me laugh!!
ROOT - if you are out there lurking, I have a question for you. Did you say that your H filed for D or you? I was just thinking of your sitch and how you handled it while in divorce... thanks
LO, A compliment definitley does wonder for the self esteem. I was on hall duty today talking to one of my students and a girl that's not even in my class walked by and said "you really look pretty today". I was just dressed in jeans and a turtleneck, amazing when you are dressed down, that you get the compliments. I'm like you, I rarely wear jeans to work.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Friday night H got home from "work" LATE. Since I figure we are simply roomates, I didn't even bother greeting him or asking where he had been. He came and found me and wanted me to sit with him while he made something to eat. I said Ok and we just hung out. No talk about anything major.
Saturday and Sunday he was very affectionate - not intimate but just affectionate. Completely weird - wanted me by him all day but we went our separate ways to bed. In the past, I might've thought it was a positive sign but I think he feels sorry for me.
Why does he feel sorry for me??? Well, I found out he saw an attorney last week and he now has a list of financial stuff that the attorney needs.
So, really what the heck is the benefit of him acting nice to me????
Be sure to protect yourself. Make copies of everything you will need. Make copies of your past two tax returns. Make sure you have bank statements so you know what his monthly income is and to know what your average monthly bills are. Also take into considerations home repairs you may encounter. Keep in mind things such as lawn service if he usually does this and you would have to pay to get someone to do it. Since he has a list that will be very helpful, just make sure you have copies of those things as well.
Sometimes the reality of it all smacks them in the face. Don't let your guard down. Let him know how it is going to be. Don't discuss this with him. Leave it up the to lawyers if it comes to it, just be prepared and not have to look for the necessary info.
(((((Hugs))))))
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
