A question for the ladies

[Kettricken]

Of additional interest, he claims that women who consider themselves "in touch" via feministic qualities, are actually out-of-touch in many ways, one of them is particularly interesting; "She is out-of-touch with her sexism, which is every bit as intense as men's objectification of women. Men are attractive, sexy and desirable to her to the degree that they are powerful and successful. A man is a success object, who is attractive to the extent that he can be a rescuer, a protector, and a provider. None of these necessarily have any connection to his qualities as a person-the thing that most women believe is the major priority." (p48)
-NOPkins-

Assuming he meant his above assessment to apply to what *all or most* women find desirable in men -- that's what is sounds like but I realize I'm only seeing an excerpt -- the following is my opinion.

No offense NOP and choc, but I am sick unto death of seeing this egregious overgeneralized offal paraded forth by so-called experts. Sure, there may well be many women like this ... to a degree, we're still somewhat socialized to seek alpha males. But there are just as many women, IMHO, who have been burned by the less admirable qualities that sometimes attend "powerful, successful" men and who are inherently wary of alphas. Or who themselves crave the dominant role. Or who may predominantly be drawn to kind, gentle, stable men for their fitness as potential fathers. Or who, like me, get a lot more mileage out of intellect and/or a sense of sexual awareness that has *nothing* to do with how "powerful and successful" the man may be.

Martelo made a wonderful post awhile back ... to quote: "While you may think that women are only sexually attracted to jerks its not necessarily the jerkiness that they may be attracted too but other aspects of the behavior.

Confidence, speaking ones mind, not looking for others approval, being direct, valuing oneself and "taking up space in the world" are all very attractive things that jerks do by accident. You can have all these qualities and be a good man."

I thought that was spot on and much more accurate about what attracts many women than facile labels like "powerful and successful". Powerful and successful men *also* tend to project the above, but do not have the monopoly on those qualities.

(Not intending to equate powerful, successful men with jerks, at all, btw. That was just the context of Martelo's post.)

Just my very-opinionated opinion.