Between her and I, it's not usually a matter of remarks (any more).
When it comes to disagreements, she doesnt "fight fair". If you were to go look at any guide on how to have positive, mutually beneficial negotiations... she does the opposite of most of them.
Doesnt look for the best "win-win" situation; only "who wins and who loses". Doesnt 'listen to understand, then communicate'; rather, she often looks for the worst possible interpretation of what I'm saying, then nurses her anger about it and blocks me out.



The bulk of "negative things" that I have to deal with about her, though, are more a matter of her choices, rather than comments to me.
The biggest one, obviously, is about her choosing to basically "date" other people online, and refuse to even look at how well we can get along.

If I treated her horribly, yelled at her, etc... I could understand her looking elsewhere. In contrast, other than unavoidable arguments about kids... I think i've treated her fairly well over the last year, both in words, and actions.
Sure, I didnt GIVE her everything that she DEMANDED of me... but that's not the same thing.

We clearly CAN get along... claims of "we cant get along" to her family clearly isnt true. . However, for the longer term... seems like she would rather "hold onto her anger", than have a positive talk with me about what a positive life together might look like. Instead of even discussing a possibility... She apparently choses to look to a new, "fresh" relationship to solve her happiness issues.

Or perhaps, she'd just rather have an online relationship, than a real-life, "get your hands dirty and work together" one.


Seems like the same thing she does with arguments. She's putting her fingers in her ears, and saying "I've made up my mind, I dont want to recognize your point of view, because I want to stay angry with you and do what I want to do"




I wrote more ranty stuff.. but decided to let it go. done enough ranting.


what can I do about it?

Nothing. It's her choice to value those people above me.
I cant "make her see" something, that she has decided that she doesnt want to even look at.

Some people might say "plan B" (in fact, many have ;\) ).
Cant bring myself to do that, though. Both for myself, and my 6-year-old children. I dont see how I could possibly explain to them, how I could simultanously want to be with "mama", yet at the same time, turn her away.

I still love her. i still want to be with her.
sucks to be me, i guess.

Last edited by Dom R; 11/30/07 07:20 PM.
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D.
Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M.
3 wonderful sons caught in the middle