Michelle, As soon as all this started between H and I, he started talking about volunteering for another deployment...so be prepared for that possibility. Like you said he may just want to get away from his problems.
I probably wouldn't bring up posessions at this point unless you are worried about stuff or there are things you want now. If you want the Christmas stuff, then go get it. Just be cheery and happy when you do it. No R talk. No OW talk. No fighting. You say you want a break from the drama, so that should be easy.
I wouldn't sign anything either. I asked H just to wait, give it some time and think about it and if he still felt the same way in a few months I would sign. He said no, he was 100% sure he wanted a D and time wasn't going to make any difference. Although, in Texas it didn't matter if I signed or not. D was supposed to be final Nov. 13th. We didn't fight about posessions becuase he was so ready for it to be over that if I wanted it he gave it to me. That just shows how they can change on a dime, and you shouldn't give up if you want it to work out. I had accepted it, and was trying to move on. You can't imagine the shock when he told me he had made a mistake.
Any contact is good if you aren't fighting, email, IM, phone, whatever. Maybe IM and email give you time to think about what you are going to say. At first I found it very difficult to have a conversation with H. Seemed like the only thing to talk about was R and it was so hard not to go there...and I often did. T told me to treat him like a first date or a friend I was just getting to know.
