Her: Good morning! Have you had time to think about Xmas? Me: Morning. What do you mean? Her: D gets out of school on 12/20. I just want her 1/1 and that week. Me: I was thinkig we could spend Xmas together. Her: I dont think that is a good idea. I was asking you about D because Im trying to request time off for Xmas and my dad (this means OM) will be here. No firm plans just yet. Me: :-( Her: Im not sure what to say. Im sorry.
HELP ME GUYS! IM LOSING HER TO OM!!! SHE IS ALREADY PLANNING XMAS WITH HIM!!!
Hurtin: 32 WAW: 30 D: 8 Bomb: 10/05 Sep: 12/05 Back together 8/07 Bomb (OM): 11/07 Filed for D (me): 12/07
Me: I cant beleive you dont want to spend any time at all with D. Have you thought about how that would make her feel? Her: Ive spoken to her about it and she's fine with it. Me: You really dont want to spend time with D just so you can go see OM? Me: Do you love him? Her: I wouldnt say I loved him. Me: Do you love me? Have you lost feelings for me? Her: You know I will always love you H4C. I just think I have lost some feelings for you. I have so much resentment and hurt. I dont think you and I are at the same place. Me: W I realize that you have resentment. I felt the same way when you first left. I think if we can go to a SBT, we can bring back the love. Me: Why do you resent me so much? Her: You were not ready when we were in counseling. You had girls lined up to take my place, you [censored] on me the entire time. I gave my life and so many tears during that time and I feel like I was just being [censored] on. Me: W I was honest with those girls that I was trying to reconcile with you. Her: I just know I dont want to start things up right now. My heart and mind just thinks it would be so painful. I dont want it to be me shitting on you. Me: Have you truly let me go? Her: I feel like I have moved on. My feelings are just not the same as they were. I have such a guard up with you. Its like I love you but fear and hurt prevent me from doing anything about it. Me: What if we go to a SBT counselor? Her: Do you understand how much time and money we spent on counseling? It never got us anywhere. We were never on the same page. Plus you had girls waiting in the wings. Me: I didnt have girls waiting in the wings! I was honest with them that I was trying to reconcile with you. I spent every single weekend with you W!
SOmeone please provide some insight her...
Hurtin: 32 WAW: 30 D: 8 Bomb: 10/05 Sep: 12/05 Back together 8/07 Bomb (OM): 11/07 Filed for D (me): 12/07
H4C, I don't know what to say really other than, back away. Yes, you want her to come to you but have you seen what happens when you try to get a wild animal to come get some food out of your hand? Do you stand still, or hop up and down and beg and plead at it?
Be still, H4C. Validate her decisions. You don't have to approve, and you don't have to agree. That's all I can come up with. I wish you the best.
Addendum: Desperation is NEVER attractive to a woman.
I cant beleive how painful this is... most people here at least have fence sitters. My W basically told me to move on and that she doesnt have the same feeling for me anymore.
She truly has let me go. :-(
Hurtin: 32 WAW: 30 D: 8 Bomb: 10/05 Sep: 12/05 Back together 8/07 Bomb (OM): 11/07 Filed for D (me): 12/07
