Plank removed from eye, too late for WAW? 8

[Gone Dancin']

Can't resist: but dammit, why can't she give us another go!

I can give you one very simple, major reason she is definitely no closer (maybe even farther away now?) to doing so: it is because YOU HAVEN'T GIVEN HER THE SPACE SHE NEEDS, BRO. You can't just go a week or two or three without R talk, flirting, etc, and then do it, back off again for a few weeks, do it again, etc. You need to DETACH from her completely and for as many MONTHS as is necessary (and who knows what that is). You know too much about DBing to keep doing this stuff to yourself, man. I honestly just sit here and shake my head at this point when I see your backslides. It doesn't do any good really to give you DB advice, because you've heard it all before and know it by heart by now, I'm sure. I'm just going to start saying, "naughty boy, Heim -- DB next time, okay?"

Also, I'm with OT on buying your slip of "Love You" via email. How long has it been since the bomb was dropped (7 months, maybe)? This separation is not a new thing, so we're WAY past slipping on Love You, my friend -- esp because you did it via email, and thus could easily see it and erase it. You were not in a form of communication that was word vomiting in any sense -- you had ample time for reflection of what you were typing. I hate say it, Heim, but I'm calling you on that defense. HOW COULD YOU NOT SEE IT?!

GD

[Heimlich]

I know GD, I was being ironical or facetious or somesuch fancy-schancy word. Didn't come across.

Please, everyone, drop the email thing. I know it wasn't intentional. After all my posts, WTF do I have to gain by lying here. Pointing it out again was stupid, the first was an honest slip.

I've also caught and deleted ILY a few times in email over the past few months.

BD

[Heimlich]

GD, I think I sounded a little snippier there than I intended. I'm friggin' exhausted from work.
BD

[Gone Dancin']

Don't worry, Heim -- I still love you! My 2x4s are out of love -- I'm not sugarcoating anything with you anymore and haven't for awhile now. I know you get frustrated with us sometimes, and I understand that completely. However, I think you understand, too, why we do it. I read something you wrote to mwel yesterday (thanks for the name drop and compliment, btw!), and the advice you gave him (which was excellent, btw) was word for word the advice you should be giving and taking yourself. Go back and reread it -- and then follow it yourself.

Regarding the email (yes, I'm bringing it up again), I know you don't have anything to gain from lying here. If you really did do it on accident, that tells me that you're about as far away from detachment as I am from the computer I'm using to type this. I definitely think this action of typing Love You to W warrants some serious reflection, don't you?

Again, Heim -- you're my butterfly. Sugar! Baby! (remember that one?)

GD

[Pudmuddle]

Heimy!

GD is right, you give such awesome advice, so listen to what you are saying! You know this stuff so well I think it has become automatic and maybe only on the surface for you any more. Dig deep.

And don't ignore forgiving yourself, that is just harboring things inside until they boil over. I know you said you were going to work on this...

No sugar here, unless it's in that hair gel you use to be Prince Charming with Better Hair.

Gimme some sugar PC.

[Heimlich]

you're my butterfly. Sugar! Baby!

Heard that the other day. Lord help me, but I kind of liked it.

I get frustrated with myself more than anything.

Any thoughts about the 'vibe' Mrs. Pud picked up on?

Email: I type a lot and I type fast for work. Haven't been sleeping. W and I were exchanging emails about girls/Christmas. Got in that back and forth zone of just typing and not really thinking, if that makes any sense. I have caught and deleted ILY a few times, though not recently, in other emails to her.

Dunno about detachment. I'm going to a meetup thing for singles tomorrow night up in Frederick. Two months ago, wouldn't have even thought about it doing something like that. Baseline, I go back to what I've said before, I've got two contradictory thoughts going -- ready to move on and doing so (like CVA said -- paraphrased, if I meet someone, great. if not, that's fine too) while simultaneously prefering that we work things out. If she comes back, great, I'll be happy. If not, great, I'll be happy. I can realize how that sounds strange, but that's the way that I feel.

W is sick. She called a few minutes ago while at Toys R Us to get my opinion on gifts for the girls (joint presents still this year. They do 'From Santa' at her parents, so it actually works out well. Next year, at my Mom's, it'll be 'From Daddy" or "From Mama") Anyway, she sounds dreadful and I could barely hear here. Plus, I don't sound or feel all that great anyway. So she's trying to explain something to me and I'm not understanding her and she's getting frustrated and snippy. I just stayed calm and patient. A year ago, would have escalated. Not a babystep or anything, but a small victory in not snapping back with a "Well, you sound like [censored] and I can't hear you" or something like that.

Borrowing her van to go pick up the new home for my TV tomorrow as well. Woo hoo. I might be a guy, but I think I'm putting together a lovely apt.

BD

[Heimlich]

Hey, Pud, I don't need no stinkin' hair gel. I look fine without it. Though, how random is this, the a patch of hair on one side of my head has taken to growing out horizontally. I also can't grow a friggin' beard, but have random 2 inch long hairs on my back AND the dreaded hair in the ears. What cruel, sick joke is mother nature pulling here?

And, baby, if you were still swinging . . .

Seriously, self-forgiveness. That really, really was an excellent observation. I ordered a book on forgiveness, should receive it today.

BD

[Gone Dancin']

Borrowing her van to go pick up the new home for my TV tomorrow as well.

Wow, must be a pretty awesome TV to buy a home to fit it!

GD

[Heimlich]

Eh, not really. Getting Billy bookcases and the benno TV stand from IKEA. I'd love to get something a bit nicer, but would prefer to be able to go hit a tree in Idaho next March.

BD

But, yeah, I love my TV. Wish I had gotten one a year or two ago now. Packs/Boys in glorious HD last night. Fabulous.

[Gone Dancin']

Read what I quoted again, Heim -- I think you missed the funny that you accidently made! lol

Or maybe it was my misunderstanding -- your "new home" is actually the stand for the TV? I thought maybe you meant to say that you're picking up the new TV for your home.

GD