Edie, I have found Buddhist concepts to be helpful in practicing detachment. I agree that it is elusive, and a constant practice. We never completely get it, as we are human and want comfort and security.
Buddhism talks about it from the concepts of attachment, desire, and suffering. When we start feeling entitled to something, or think that we have to have something in our lives, then suffering ensues. This includes our spouses and relationships.
Easier said than done. It helps to know that wise people were wrestling and articulating these issues hundreds of years ago, in other parts of the world. We are wrestling with our human nature.
Buddhism has given me the language to articulate and understand the struggles of human nature. It promotes meditation as the means to counter suffering, but I prefer yoga and writing. I think anything that helps someone to lessen reactivity is fine.
I'm not trying to push any religion on you, but merely stating a framework that I've found helpful, and that I understand the struggles of detachment.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
