pm,woog, thanks, i just do not want to make any more mistakes. pud, woog is right , your self control was admirable , to say the least. my problem is with my first w she stayed out all hours of the night, and i would stay up and wait. so it brings back some painful memories. so sometimes i lack patience. my w usually would have called, but she did thought i would be asleep.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
Yep, it surely was painful for me too. But I do know that you cannot pressure or bully someone back into doing what you want.
Thanks for the compliments Woog, craig. It was very hard to let my ego down to do that. But I spent way less energy doing that, than going into a full blown rampage. It felt remarkable afterwards. Enlightening.
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
pm, fortunately i have not even raiseed my voice during any conversations for weeks. i know db'ing works, so i will refocus on staying cheerful and taking care of kids. focus on me. every time i try to focus on w it just clouds my judgement.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
VENTING- w just called to say one of her fellow workers asked her to go out of town with her this weekend. she wanted to know how i felt about it. i said you were just gone last weekend, and if you intend to go to your mothers after christmas, money is an issue. good gried. she tends to forget she has a family, i am tired of her single friends at work assuming she can just pickup and just leave on a whim. i am fried right now. i am tired of her selfishness!!! her kids need her more than they do. i am not a mr mom. i have a life too.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
That is very odd Craig. why on earth would she call you to see how you felt about it? Has she been considering your feelings all this time? No.
Sheesh. I can see why you are fried.
But you did point out the realizations of her actions, which was good, about the money and going to her mom's. Remember she has no sense of who she is or what direction she is going in...
Sorry craig, that has to be ultimately frustrating. It's one thing to forget you, but your kids?? wowza. I think this is one reason I took our S to a counselor and invited my H, so he could plainly SEE what he was doing to our S, not just me. I know your kids are older but still...
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
I hear you about that selfishness. My W has a class tomorrow so I need to take care of the kids during the day. In the evening, after W's class ends, the kids need to go to a BD party. Does my W want to go? No - she would rather go shooting with OM and have me take them.
But, if you ever talk custody issues with them, they want sole custody. Just dont make sense to me why they want sole custody if they dont ever do things with the kids. I think it fits right in with the selfish attitude.
this has been her train of thought for awhile. i have posted some of the things she has said concerning the kids over the last 9 weeks. she is in la la land. this is so frustrating, because this is just the opposite of what my w used to be like. if she decides to go i am thinking about telling her don't come back. go to your friends.she is so confused, so torn. pud, i know she has no direction, i see it all the time, she cannot sit and relax at all.she is a ship without a rudder. but i am tired of dealing with her.i know she is miserable.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
well, i just lost it talking to my w on the phone. i cannot handle her selfishness, she called up to tell me she was going to a birthday party and did not know how late she would be.i blew up and hung up on her. she called back and wanted to know why i hung up on her. i said if you cannot figure it out i am not going to tell you and hung up. this goes back to earlier in the day when she called and wanted my opinion on going out of town with a friend. i told her she had a lot of gaul to call me and ask me when she was just out of town last weekend. i told her the kids and i were tired of taking second fiddle to her single work friends. she hung up on me. ughhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! at this point i do not care.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
I'm sure others here can give you better advice than I, but I wanted to offer support since you've been so supportive of me.
Just take a deep breath. Now take another one.
I think we just need to realize that our wives are now in it only for themselves. All the normal rules of consideration for others are throw away and they have a new playbook with no rules for themselves.
It's their world and we just live in it.
Take care of your kids and yourself. Go to dinner, a movie or whatever. Get out of the house and have the best time you can. Forget about her as much of possible.
