an xh, his FF, Thanksgiving, MIL, and one psuedo-R

[Dom R]

You know, I might have said why I was choosing not to...I don't recall. Good point...again, I think I need to make it about me being hurt, and not about him seeing someone. I think that's the big problem here. I think he hears judgment in what I'm saying, which isn't what I mean at all.

Weeeell.. but you are hurt.. ABOUT him seeing someone else.
You're entitled to be!

And it IS a judgement. It's a judgement, that the way he treats you (by not honoring intimacy with you as exclusive intimacy), is not a way that you wish to be treated.

Again, in my opinion, this is a perfectly reasonable judgement to make!

This stuff is an "and", not an "or".
Claiming that it's one but not the other, would put you on shaky ground, 'cause you'd be wrong, in my opinion