I've said it before in its and pieces on various threads but here is where my mind has been for quite some time now.
I like to think this MLC Men/ Women thing is very similar to the Mars/ Venus thing that has been so popular this last decade.
Male BS:
Men are able to have sex without love, I think it's the way we are programed from birth. Men are a lot more likely to move on when a M fails because of this, especially if the MLC W has custody of the kids. Men seem to be most bothered by the physical part of the MLC A, it's very tough to get over that so most of us will move on quickly.
Male MLC:
As above, sex without love (maybe why more of the males return). Financially able to pay the price for some time (support two households) and know that there is a very good chance of a return because their W will most likely take them back.
Female BS:
Most Women need an emotion to develop a sexual connection, whem women have that connection they will do anything for their man including waiting out an affair. Women are more likely to keep the home fires burning especially if there are children involved. Financially needing the income of the MLCer also keeps them stuck and hopeful of a return.
MLC Female:
Emotion is huge for an MLC Woman add an OM into the mix and you get sex with love, a very potent combination. If a MLC Woman has custody of the kids there is not much to stop her from continuing an affair for a very long time. If she is living with OM, has a good job and CS there is plenty of money to continue her new lifestyle as well.
I know personally of 5 men who have had their W walk off to MLC land. One of those W has expressed remorse and hinted at return, it is the XW of my cousin, she left almost 20 years ago abandoning her kids. There are many of us men on the boards here and I can think of 5 or so who have had W return. I can only think of 1 or 2 from that group who had moved out AND had an OP.
These are some really hard numbers to crunch as it would seem that men are much more unlikely to come to this site to share and seek advice. I would bet that the quotient of regular "lurkers" to posting men is ten to one, men just don't share like women do.
I think now that very few MLCers return to the M, I think a lot of them do wake up eventually but decide against returning. I also can see a trend on the male MLCer having multiple OW where a female MLCer typically will have one OM and stick with him.
I don't want to rain on anyones parade or disregard any of the successful men who managed to restore the M but I do think we need to be a little more honest in what we are dealing with when it comes to MLC.
