an xh, his FF, Thanksgiving, MIL, and one psuedo-R

[Dom R]

I've noticed when I tell him 'no', I get accused of being mean and vindictive. I am sure this is true in some cases. Then he starts the pleading. Then he'll accept what I'm telling him. I'm not worrying about his reactions. How do I tell if I am being overly mean or uncooperative?

I think the "that's something only a girlfriend would do" is a good benchmark.

I also think, that trying to get him to bring the child down, was a bit uncalled for.
But everything else sounded reasonable to me.


oh, one more thing:

Telling him that you are "choosing not to act on your feelings", I think was incomplete communication. Might have been better to complete it, as to WHY you are choosing not to act on them.
and/or, point out that yes you have feelings of wanting to be with him.. but you have ADDITIONAL feelings, of hurt, and not feeling safe with him any more (or however your feelings are about that).

Dont have anything more to suggest beyond that.