You don't believe that people have wildly different sex drives?
Genetically and biologically speaking, yes. Just like some people are taller or shorter, blue eyed or brown, etc. But we have sex for reasons other than procreation. No other animal on the planet does that.
That's where I think HD/LD comes into the mix. I think Mojo is spot on with that one... both states come into being because both are unwilling to OWN responsibility for their own SD. That is why HDs chase the LDs around the house. (Beyond true physical problems causing such states).
I know I end my LDness when I take charge of my own desire. YOU know that you take charge of your HDness when you say you will not live in a sexless marriage... and that is also taking charge of your own desire.
There are a LOT of dynamics that create the whole... endless loop of frustration for both people. I suppose in the way NOP has taken an interest in researching affairs, I have taken the same interest in the HD/LD dynamic... the Passion Trap... whatever it is you want to call it. I'm doing that because I don't ever want to live like that again. It's gonna happen... no matter who I am with... but it doesn't have to stay there, if both people are 'aware.'
Finding the person who is aware, who is willing to regard the dynamic with equal seriousness, is the trick. For people who are already married... and even single people like me... the ONLY way I know how to move forward is with radical honesty. Otherwise, the other person can mire you in misunderstanding, avoidance, and all other manner of negative behaviors. It is very disrespectful. If you allow it to continue, then YOU are as much to blame as the other.
It's hard to be honest, with yourself and other people. I will laugh in the face of anyone who says it's easy. Just like when I ask... what's your passion? What is YOUR purpose? If you don't know, and you give that question honest consideration, it will stop you cold.
