New to Piecing -- again

[RedHeadWife]

I can understand where you are coming and how you are feeling -- I think I'm feeling a bit of the same way. I think one of my main things during the whole D sitch was, yes, I was PETRIFIED of being a single mom & H truly leaving.

I guess what we need to keep in mind is that we will be ok no matter what happens. Just like me right now having to live like a single mom w/ H deployed for a whole year, I'm making it and actually doing an ok job of it. No, it's not easy & it's not always fun, but bottom line is that we all just have to do what we gotta do. I think when we finally get it through our heads that we are ok on our own, that we are still those people we were before we got married, we feel a lot better about "what if's."

BUT, on the other hand, (and I'm still having issues/problems w/ this too) since we are among the lucky ones to have our H's back and are actually working on our M's, we need to remember that patience is still the key. We need to just try to relax and let things happen and, when an issue comes up, make sure we take the time to think about it before we just REACT. I'm so glad every time I want to say something to H or almost acuse him of something and don't and then realize I would have been way out of line had I done it. What would I have done then -- certainly not helped, but actually hindered, the process of rebuilding our M & the trust.

I think as the LBS, we are still the ones who are completely consumed by the whole D sitch and all that goes along w/ it. Our spouse, who has decided to come home, on the other hand, usually wants to just forget it all happened. Unfortunately, they will NEVER understand the feelings & devastation that we endured by standing by them through the whole sitch. That is something we have to work through on our own and come to terms with. It all takes a lot of time and, just when we think we are doing well, something happens and it all comes flooding back. The good news is though that we do have a 2nd chance to make our M's better than ever and better than they would have ever been had the sitch not happened at all. So, we need to take that 2nd chance, take the lessons we've learned, hold our heads up and move ahead.