WAW does not want to try

[wawpioneer]

Hello everyone,

This is my first time on any web forums. My wife came home one day and said that she was not "in love" with me anymore but she still cares about me or still loves me. I was devastated. She said that she has felt this way for years and that she feels like she should not have married me and should have broken up with me when we were dating even. She said that she never really has loved me like a wife should love a husband. She has always kept her feelings inside and did not express them openly or if she did I failed or chose not to validate her feelings. She says that I was too controlling and that things always had to go my way and that her opinions and feelings did not matter or where never taken into consideration. She feels like it is over and done. She had also built an emotional relationship with another man behind my back that does not regret and says that he opened her eyes to the posibility that there is someone out there that is better suited for her with qualities that she is looking for in a man. She left almost two months ago and is in the process of filing divorce papers. She says that she may file tomorrow. I have been devastated and depressed. She feels like she made this decision over the course of the years and it is not a hasty decision for her. She says that she does not want to work on us at all and that she has made her decision. We went to counceling today (only the 2nd time she agreed to couples counceling) and the councelor asked us to not talk for a few days then come together to discuss our potential plan if there even is one. We will meet this weekend and if she decides that there is a chance then we will explore that possibility. I am not holding my breath. She has been so cold and brutally honest and stubborn. I am not sure what to do or if there is anything that I can do. I am committed to change and committed to working on our marriage. I am religious and do not believe in divorce. Is there any hope? I also have a thread in the WAW forum