I hope that your time with your Ds and you H go fine this weekend. I hate the uncertainty of what it might or might not mean when DH is kind - mine has been much more kind since I agreed the M is over. Like you, I'm trying not to read too much into it and just going along for the ride.
The suggestion of the IC for the kids was more a response to the earlier posts on this thread about the questions we all have about how our children are responding to what we are doing and how we are holding up. For me, the IC has helped me with my worry over the boys. Neither of the boys wanted to go, but both H&me insisted that they go once. I was surprised when S2 wanted to go so much, but in his sessions he doesn't talk about H&me and our situation as much as anger he has over other things like school (and that might be connected to this year and the situation), so I think his issues with H&me are getting taken care of through a different focus. In the end, I have found the IC is more comforting to me than anything. I too worry about how all of this is impacting the boys - their dad is a center to their lives and I know that what he's doing, even as much as he tries to be around for them, will have impact on them later in life. Knowing that I have a professional to help with challenging times - we had one time this fall when S2 was really not processing upsets well and so we went in for one meeting - has given me a peace of mind and it gives the boys one more person other than me to turn to for support and to whom they can express their worries about me.
All that said, I think you are right that the kids often are doing better than we ever think and that IC isn't for everyone; it really is adding just one more perspective.
Good luck with everything today & this weekend - A
