Why can't I do this....

[Dom R]

Hey, guy... I'm not going to jump all over you.... i'm just going to make a comment, that I hope you find helful :-)
[hmm.. well, not for the reason you thought I would I guess i'm going to get pushy about something else ;)]

First offf.. congrats on the joint MC session.
I think that it actually went well!

I think that what you "felt trapped" about, is that it pointed out things for YOU to do, as well as your wife, and you didnt like it.

But that's not my most important comment...

W explained that I always change for a little which after counseling and that there is no way I will keep this up. MC asked how long I will have to work to make her believe in me to which W responded years, like 10.
...

I tried to stand up for myself after the session and explain to W that I wasn't sure that I wanted to play family again this weekend at the Disney event because of my current confusion. To which she got very angry and said that nothing is changing.

Can you not see, that what you did there, was prove your wife right?

She said basically that you cant be consistent, and keep up your efforts to be a good husband and father 24x7.

You just told her that.. never mind 10 years.. you cant even keep it up through this weekend. Because "you're confused".

I have decided that I will move back into the house this weekend and she what that brings, I will move into S4 room and play it by ear on this one. One day at a time.... I hope that I am strong enough for all of this because today I feel so vulnerable.

Good for you... I think that's a good idea. I foresee one large problem that you need to resolve within yourself, though.

It seems like Your #1 Problem that you have to work out in you, both from an external viewpoint, and also from your wife's viewpoint, is that you keep flip-flopping! It's like you have a fear of commitment or something?

Any person going into a marriage with an "I'll see how it goes" attitude, is going to leave when things get tough.
Things always get tough in a marriage at some point. Therefore, a person with that attitude, will always leave.

If you dont go into things with that attitude, then you are almost guaranteed to flip-flop again. Which is exactly what your wife said is her fear about you.