I thought things were going to be okay after I had that long talk with my husband on Tuesday evening. I was wrong.
Things had been picking at my brain since then and I had to know if he was telling the truth. So I told him that if he had nothing to hide, he wouldn't mind me logging onto his email and IM accounts to check things out. And I did just that. He gave up the passwords...
I was devastated!!! There were emails from at least three different women that he sent YESTERDAY! Two days after "our talk"...he sent them a picture of himself that was taken when he "was in Disney with friends". Not so bad you might think, but that picture was taken when we went to Disney to GET MARRIED! That picture was taken less than a week after our wedding!!! So much for the fairy tale.
I keep checking emails and I notice emails from singles sites. FROM DATING SITES!!! So I log in to them to find he had been talking to multiple women from these sites YESTERDAY!!!
So after all this, I remained unbelievably calm. I really don't know how I did it. He, on the other hand, is a basket case. Really...to the point that I thought he was going to be sick. I am actually very concerned for his well-being right now. He can't stop shaking and seems like he's lost everything. I know I made a mistake last night by reassuring him that we can fix this.
Another mistake is that I involved another couple that I would have preferred didn't know about our problems. But it was one of those irrational, spur-of-the-moment things.
I sent emails to all the women he was talking to (using his account) and let them know he was married. One responded and I thanked her for her honesty. I cancelled all the singles site memberships and am monitoring his email account. He says he's never turning the computer on again.
He admitted he was wrong, he apologized (after I told him he hadn't yet), and he talked about how bored and useless he felt. Again, I tried to reassure him...
I simply can't wait to see the counselor next week. He's a mess and I'm holding it together (I have no idea how)...but I want my husband back!
