A wonderful friend that I work with has really made it thru a tough time. She and her H separated 19 years ago. One morning, she woke up to her H saying "I don't love you...... Bla bla bla... Never did.. I'm leaving.. Find someone else." She had 2 small kids at the time, and was totally blown away.. For 1 year, she DB'ed without even knowing it- for Michele's book wasn't written yet. She stayed positive, continued with her life and career, and did the best she could. SHE NEVER LOST HER FAITH.. Even when everyone told her that he would NEVER come back, she hung in. He moved in with OW and came by once every other week to see the kids briefly. About a year into it, he started coming around more; showing more interest in his old family... He eventually moved back in, and as she said "It was not easy for a while." They went to counseling (finally) and things got more comfortable as time went on. They formed a new love and relationship based on their new outlooks and went on to have 2 more kids.
When my H left 6 months ago, I spoke with my friend's H about his "crisis" as he calls it. He told me this:
"Cindy, this has very little to do with you... It has to do with your H. He is so confused now- like he is in a dark room with no windows.. He can't see any way out of the mess he has slid into. But time will hopefully help him to see that all the things he has now are built on lies and lust. He needs to stop and look in the mirror and REALLY LOOK at himself- all the way inside.. He will.. It's going to take a long time; but when he does, if you're still there, he will be new and improved and appreciate you far more than he ever could have before."
..Words from a MLC'er who luckily got back the family he could have lost.... ~Cindy